P31W: Laughing at the Future

Worry. I've been plagued with it. One time, I was angry. The deepest part of my heart was restless. I was unhappy and tired a lot. People even told me I was acting different. I was. I was far from God, far from my family and far from happy.

I realized I was worrying about my future. At this time, big questions like, "What do I do after high-school?" were tormenting me and I chose to dwell on those big questions instead of give them to God. I wasn't taking life one step at a time, with faith. I was trying to plan it all out in a hurry, without prayer or much thought.

It was tearing me apart.

No wonder so many people in life are suicidal, harm themselves or just have problems in general. What do they put their faith in? Who do they trust? I get dry if I don't trust Christ and He is mine! What do the people without Him do? I can't imagine.

The Proverbs 31 Woman knows who to trust in, and the "what ifs" and future don't scare her. 

 "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Proverbs 31:25

I can honestly say that I can't always laugh at the days to come. Sometimes I let the unknowns bog me down so far. I let the mysteries of life turn my mind 'round and 'round till I can't even think anymore. Can anyone relate?

I don't have the answer or solution to this helpless feeling. I don't know how to alleviate that, but I know the one who can do it. Christ! When I bring my helpless self to Him, and lay my problems and worries at His feet, its...its like a burden is falling away. When I come to the place and accept that my life isn't in my control and that God is holding everything in His hands and that there is in fact a reason for everything, I begin to relax. When a believer comes to God, begging for relief from worries and fears, asking Him to heal their faithlessness...He doesn't turn them away.

The P31W is strong! Uncertain futures don't scare her! She loves them! She will see life's mystery as an unforgettable, wonderful journey with a protective Father! She will embrace the unknowns and count them as joys, not burdens. The P31W has strength and dignity! She is respected for her bravery, for the way she faces the future, laughing, daring it to challenge her and her Lord. She is worthy of respect because of her courage. Her courage puts the bravest soldiers to shame. Her quiet peace will turn the heads of any stranger - making the passer-by want to know where she's placed her trust. Her serenity before making decisions is inspiring to everyone around her. She has learned that whatever decision she makes, whatever path she takes, whatever situation she finds herself in...her Jesus is there.

And she laughs.

Be My Everything

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting

There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my wathcing
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
Be my everything

You are everything
 

Jesus, Everything

Tonight and forever, may this be the cry of our hearts. God must be there in our waking, sleeping, hoping, hurting, loving, laughing, dreaming, praying, serving...in everything.

Oh God, be our everything.

Dynamic Monotony

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Counterfeit Bills

Totally His Youth Conference was fun, convicting, revealing, memorable, happy, and heart-breaking all at the same time. It's weird how you can be revived, crushed, and feeling loved all at the same time. I will be posting about the messages by the speakers, giving them credit, of course but also adding my own thoughts.

The very first night God hit me with a whammie that set my heart mood for the rest of the week.

The message by Barrett Mashall was about motivations.

Just thinking about some of the motivations my heart has had are enough to make me hide under my bed forever. I can't even recognize some of the sinful motivations of my heart. I contort them so badly in my mind that my evil motivations don't even feel evil anymore. Does that scare you? It does me! Here is a freaky verse.

Proverbs 16:2 "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD."

I don't know about you, but after hearing that verse, all those good things I did at thus-and-so time, don't seem so good anymore. My good deeds have been tainted by my wrong motives.

Mr Marshall talked about counterfeit Christians. If you want to find counterfeit money, the best way is to look at a bill and compare it's differences to the real bill. Not look at the similarities. The same goes for Christians. If you want to find a counterfeit, Christian poser, the best way is to compare his or her life to the life laid out in the Bible. How does the Bible say Christians should act and how is this person NOT like that?

One way you can tell a difference between real and fake Christians is that the counterfeit Christian has the wrong motives for seeking Christ. They follow Him for their own gain. They see Christ as the ticket to heaven, and the salvation from hell, but not the ticket to righteousness and redemption from sin. He or she uses God for what He can give them, eternal security. They use Christ to fit in with the church crowd and to make themselves look better to other people. They use Christ as a security blanket that they hide under and never deal with the reality of the sinful human beings that they are.

Can you relate?!

But Jesus said that only those who do the will of His Father will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

What is your motivation for seeking God? Are you someone who is just "following Him" for what He can give you? If that is your main purpose, then you need to examine your salvation. The true disciple's motive is the worthiness of Jesus Christ and the glory of God! You can come to Jesus for your own good, because it is good and will bring contentment, but if that is your supreme motive for following Him, you must ask, "Do I really know Him?" A disciple follows God to glorify Him.

In John 6, it talks about the people who were seeking Jesus. In verse 26, He says to them, 

"Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill."

We scoff and talk smack about the girls who use their boyfriends for their money, or low class citizens who vote for the Presidential candidate who offers the most benefits, but never pay taxes or do anything to help the situation of our country...but isn't that what counterfeit Christians do on an even larger scale? They come to God because He can still their fears for a time, but make no commitment, never change and don't plan to...

Why are you seeking the Lord? Can you say that He is your all in all? Is He a commitment in your life? Someone that is transforming you from the inside out? Or is He just the handbag you carry to complete your social outfit? the name-brand that helps you get along in the right crowds? Are you seeking Him because you are scared of eternity, or has really become and inevitable, joyous part of your life?

Are you a counterfeit Christian that hopes no one will spot the differences?

People may not, but God, most certainly will.

I'm Leaving

Totally His Youth Conference is coming tomorrow! I'm going to South Carolina! I cannot wait. I'm dying to see old friends, make new ones and listen to the FABULOUS sermons.

That being said, "I shall be gone until Saturday. Not like anyone will miss me anyways. I haven't been posting at all lately (this time it was because I seriously didn't have the time, its been crazy over here. :P).

Because of the great spiritual atmosphere at Totally His, I'm going to have GREAT stuff to post about when I get back. Not to mention that its about time to wrap up my Proverbs 31 Women posts.

Looking forward to coming back. Check here Saturday night or Sunday, and hopefully I'll have something up.

Rejoice! Today is the day the Lord has made!

I Found a Pearl!

This morning while I listened to the sermon in our church by the guest speaker and missionary, David Barcelo, I couldn't help but ask myself one thing, "Am I giving up all for the sake of the Gospel?"

The sermon reminded me of one of my favorite book characters, Reepicheep. Those of you who have read the Chronicles of Narnia know him and probably love him as much as I do. He is a talking and fighting rat. He bravely serves Aslan and will do anything his King tells him to do. He considers it an honor to die for Aslan and looks forward to journeying to Aslan's country.

The writer, C.S Lewis, very obviously intended for Aslan to be a picture of Christ, His country to be a picture of heaven and Reepicheep to represent a faithful servant.

Reep shows his passion for Aslan's Country when he says, "My own plans are made. While I may, I sail East in Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I row East in my coracle. When that sinks, shall I paddle East with my four paws. Then, when I can swim no longer, if I have not yet reached Aslan's Country, there shall I sink with my nose to the sunrise..."

This morning David Barcelo preached on Matthew 13 and the infinite worth of the Gospel. In the parable (verses 44-45) there was a man who found a pearl of great value and sold everything he had to buy it. Everything! He knew the price and the value of that one pearl so he gave up all to possess it.

His friends probably didn't understand why he did it. They probably made fun and teased him. There is no way they could understand, though. Unless they knew the value of the pearl, they would never understand.

God knew that the one thing Abraham loved was Isaac. So God said, "Abraham, give me Isaac." Abraham did.

My question for myself: "What do I love that I'm not giving up for His sake?" What do I have that I won't let go? Anything that I can't give up for Christ is an idol. Whoo. Scary word. God doesn't take idols lightly. Uh, if you don't believe me, read the old testament.

Salvation is the pearl. Jesus is my pearl. Jesus is my treasure above treasures. Can I say that with conviction? Can you? My life will be prioritized by, run in accordance to, and follow the path of my treasures. What am I treasuring the most? What means the most to me? If you don't know, examine your life! You'll find out what it is quick.

Think about what you love the most. If God were to say, "My Child, give me ______." Could you do it?  Are you seeking the Gospel and the Kingdom of God with fervency? Or is your journey to heaven and your Christian life, more like a time-to-laze-around-waiting-for-heaven time?

NO! That is why Reepicheep is so inspiring! I want to go to heaven and finish my journey exhausted. I want to be sold out for Christ. If He takes away my ship, then my boat and even my own strength, I still want to cross the finish line sinking! I want to be the type of Christian that says, "TAKE EVERYTHING LORD!" I want to live like I believe that giving everything up for Christ is a joy. I want to always be willing to lay aside my true-loves, my addictions, my habits, my comforts, and my ease for His name.

If I do that, people are going to think I'm crazy, they will think I've gone off my rocker, but how could they think anything else unless they have seen the treasure of Jesus Christ and Heaven? Jesus has given me that gift. He has allowed me into His family. I see the joy. I see the beauty. I've felt the love. Now, I have to fight for it. The gift is mine, and better yet, the Giver is mine. I want to give Him my all, because He gave me His all.

Paul said with conviction in Philippians 3:7-8, "But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things."

Jim Elliot said, "He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." 

Are you and am I giving up the things that we cannot take out of this world so we can gain the eternal rewards in heaven and ultimately Christ? The treasure of all treasures Himself?

OH LOOK! CHOIRS!!!

This is real music. The power it can have on people is...unmeasurable. I know most of you know that I have an obsession with choirs. So, I was surfing youtube, looking at choirs and lets just say...I was wowed. This is the type of stuff i want to sing one day. The first one gives me chills. The second one is way corny, but SO COOL!! And the thrid is unbelievable.

Glory to God? Forever?

I'm going to quickly type out a post before rushing to bed. So, I apologize beforehand for any typos or weirdness.

I went to afterglow. I LOVE AFTERGLOW! It's where our youth group gets together and just talks about the sermons in church and kinda applies them, or just discusses them. We also sing a lot which I love. In general, singing is my favorite thing ever. But singing with believers to God is the BEST!

We sang  a song tonight that provoked some thought in me. It's called, "Glory to God".


Creator God you gave me breath so I could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days, all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of the King

CHORUS:
Glory to God, Glory to God
Glory to God, Forever
Glory to God, Glory to God
Glory to God, Forever


Glory to God? Forever? I tried to wrap my mind around that. One day, we are going to be praising God and glorifying His name with the angels and saints. I can't imagine the day when we can sit around His throne and adore Him.

And even now. I want to give glory to God in my life right now. This moment! I confess that many times i can sing, "Take my life and let it be, all for You and for Your glory" but I don't really live that out. I found myself half-heartedly singing those words tonight. But, those words are a prayer and shouldn't be taken nonchalantly. Lives that are "all for You and for Your glory" are totally different, crazy-in-the-worlds-eyes lives! I sing like I want to be that, but I'm not taking the steps and making the radical choices to be one.

I mean, what would someone who is living that type of life look like? What if I found someone who was living out "Glory to God, Forever" in everything they do? How can I do that?

I was convicted tonight about the fact that I can sing prayerful, reverent words like that and treat them like no big deal. Here's one, "I Have Decided to Follow Jesus". EVERYONE in church knows that chorus, but how many people who sing it really mean it? Those are tough words. "Though none go with me, I still will follow...The world behind me, the cross before me..." Who wants to go to the cross? The cross stands for and is the most amount of suffering that anyone could go through? Who actually wants that?

I don't really want to sing those songs unless I mean them. Or here, maybe when I sing that...if I feel like I'm not meaning them at the moment...I can pray that God will enable me to desire the cross and enable me to live out "Glory to God, Forever".

Today, tomorrow and forever I want to give glory to God. Whether it is through the way I treat my family, how I handle customers, what I do behind closed doors, or my priorities...I want God to be glorified - forever.

Back to the old verse that everyone knows and quotes, but the truth is so huge...

1 Corinthians 10:31 "Whether you eat, drink or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."

When is that going to stop just "being a verse" and start being my life?!?

The God of Eternity Doesn't Handle Your Sin Lightly

More and more I've noticed in the world around me and in...sadly, myself this attitude of "sin isn't really that big a deal". If I shoot up a little prayer of repentance, promise to do better and all...then, I'm clear, right?

Wrong!

God does not take our sin lightly. The God of the Universe, the initiator of everything, the one who can discontinue your breath without a though doesn't take your sin lightly. He doesn't go, "Oh, she is doing a half-way job fixing her sin, and she is failing - she doesn't even seem like she really cares, but I don't really mind...after all, she isn't murdering anyone, is she?"

The one who has the power to throw you in hell doesn't take your sin lightly. Why should you? What grounds do you have to relax about it?

If your right eyes causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown in hell. And if your right arm causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go to hell. (Matthew 5:29-30)

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? ² Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? (Romans 6:1-2)

Relax isn't an instruction. God is the same wrathful God of the OT. He hasn't changed. He hates sin and He hates when His people turn from Him to pursue other things. He shows mercy upon mercy and helps those who ask for it, thank goodness! And He will never forsake. But don't let those promises give you slack to sin more and not worry. Be about the work of righteousness. If you are in sin, repent! and change! 

We cannot take it lightly anymore. God eventually punished the Isrealites for not serving Him, when will He do the same to us?

I'm learning this lesson more and more. My ease about the whole thing concerns me. I want to be sensitive and aware of my sin, constantly on my face repenting to God, and always in the process of changing.

Is there unhandled sin in your life? Today, not tomorrow, is the time...

P31W: Building Up People

I love this quote. Sadly, I don't know who to credit it to. If anyone knows, please tell me.

"Behind every great man is an even better woman."

Okay, I don't believe that is true in all cases, but I it is something I like to think about. Can women be the people who build others up in such a way that the subject of their encouragement's accomplishments can almost be credited back to them? Can we, as females, have that much influence?

Yes. 

Proverbs 31 gives a description of the P31W's husband in verse 23:

"Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."

Now, keep in mind that the chapter is talking about the Proverbs 31 Woman. She is the one the chapter is zeroing in on. So, this random verse about her husband, seeming "tossed" in there, is probably more about her, than the husband. The woman, in a marriage relationship, is the help-meet. She helps, loves, cares for, supports and respects her husband. If a woman does that successfully, it isn't far fetched to believe that that man will do well in the world, will be respected by others, and be successful.

Now, lets take this idea out of the context of marriage, since 90% (or more) of us aren't married. How can we, as Proverbs 31 Teens, be a supportive "back-bone" to other people? How can we encourage and inspire people to be all they can for the glory of God? How can we be a side-kick for others who need help? Is there any way our actions can be the type that some people will later claim they wouldn't have made it without?

Interesting to think about, huh?

In the case of a sibling: the P31W would probably be the type of sister who would go out of her way to help her sibling with homework, chores, or even talk when he or she needs a listening ear.

In the case of a sister or brother in Christ: She would be one who lifts up, encourages, prays for, and helps those in the family of God. She would minister to people and disciple younger, newer Christians. She would be one that people always new they could come to for help, anytime.

In the case of the church: She is on who would be okay working "backstage" and is always there at the drop of a hat for any kind of service...cooking meals for families, nursery, music ministery...or whatever....

See the pattern? We don't have to be married to be reliable women who build others up. We can be support to whoever, all the time. And the rewards for being that type of friend, or sister, are great. Sometimes on earth, but always in heaven.

Challenge: Pick someone you can support today. Who around you needs a helping hand or just a word of encouragement?   

P31W: A Woman of Beauty

Everyone loves beauty right? Everyone appreciates it, whether its natural beauty, beautiful people, or beautiful symbolic meanings. We can even apply this to the Proverbs 31 Woman.

Read verse 22 of Proverbs 31.

"She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple."

I talked to my Pastor's wife about this and she gave some pretty good insight about what this verse meant. She thinks that this verse means that the P31W appreciates and strives for beauty in the home. She is a homemaker and does what she can to have a gorgeous home.

I have two applications for this verse myself. Let's take the first part of it. "She makes coverings for her bed." Where do you feel at home? If you were to go to someone's house and it was dirty and not very well taken care of, would you feel as comfortable there as you would in someone's clean house who tried to make it look beautiful and inviting? I would venture to guess that you probably would not.

God created the world beautiful. He created beautiful girls and even calls them as much in the Bible. The temple was beautiful, even. Some people believe it is vain to have curtains or a beautiful home. People have gone as extreme to make sure they only have the bear necessities in their home so as not to be vain. Now, don't get me wrong. Some people have extreme convictions about this. Take Muller for example. Thousands of orphans were in his care and he had nothing. That's understandable. But, I think there is a point where you can start to be legalistic about it. Is it JUST about not being vain, or is there a part of the person that makes them feel more loved by God if they refrain from "fluff"? ...That's not an accusation, just a question.

I, on the other hand, feel like it is our job to make beauty. God speaks to us of beauty through the Bible is creation, His Son, love relationships, in women, and even (I thought this was cool) in Exodus, God tells them to make garments for the priests for glory and beauty. See, beauty is not an un-known thing to God. He understands and loves beauty. Our job as P31Ws is to take our homes and lives and decorate them. When an unbeliever comes into my home, I want her/him to think, "Wow. This woman takes care of what she has. This place is peaceful and beautiful and makes me feel relaxed." I don't want that person to think. "This is the Christian life? Whoo, she got jipped." I want people to see the blessing of the Lord in my life, and if that is through a beautiful house, then praise the Lord!

I KNOW that there are some Christians who just don't have much. Glory to God. I hope they make beautiful and pleasing whatever God has given them.

Second application is beauty in the person of the P31W. I guess, sometimes I thought of her as someone who was probably grimy from working and never dressed in anything but a plain, straight dress. I don't think that is the case though. The second half of the verse says, "she is clothed in fine linen and purple." I don't think she was hygienically run down.

Yeah, you bet. Spending long periods of time in front of a mirror is a bad habit. Sinful and wrong. But, I think God is pleased when we try to be beautiful. Not in a seductive or self-glorifying way, but in a way that points people to the creator. We are the work, the beautiful work of the creator. We should show it. Not to flaunt. Not to draw attention. But in order to point people to the amazing creator. Wearing make-up, dressing up or doing our hair isn't going to make us less cherished in the sight of God. Did you know that God planted the desire to be beautiful in women? It's natural for us to want beauty. In 1 Peter 3:3-4 it says,

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— ⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

God doesn't deny that we are beautiful creatures who have a desire to be attractive. It cannot be our primary focus and control us, but we shouldn't let it slide either. Lets be beautiful and attractive! Through our outward appearance, deeds, words, our home, and our character. God created us, right? And He doesn't mess up! So lets rejoice in the creator and be the piece of art-work He created us to be!!

Confession Session

Okay, so I can officially award myself as the "worst blogger in the world." I feel bad that I've let things slip for so long. I have wanted too, but at the same time I haven't. I think it may also be  a reflection of what is going on with my heart. For some weird reason I've just kinda lost some of my steam when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. I think it may be as simple as letting the stuff in my life get in the way. But, I'm seeking healing and trying to dive back into the Word like old times. Maybe I'll start getting some more inspiration to write. I am blessed when I remember that I'm the one who moved away. Yeah, it makes me sorta mad at myself, but at the same time I feel tremendous blessing when I think of it. God is going to be there when I come. I just have to...come.

That...that...kinda makes me feel stupid. Why have I been away so long? *kicks a rock*

Prayer would be great. I need it. Some people have given me the impression that they think I've got my ducks in a row and life is good. Well, if you've ever thought that or my blog (God forbid) has ever given you that impression...it isn't true. I have so many questions, problems, pride issues and stuff...it's ridiculous. I feel like a basket case sometimes when I come to God. Almost like this, "Uh, God. Well, there is so much going on with me, I don't know where You want to start."

So, again, prayer would be great.

On a brighter note, I realized that June 3rd, was Striving for a Crown's 1'st birthday! *balloons* Happy Birthday dear ol' blog of mine! Just want to say thank you to all my faithful followers who have put up with my inconsistency and random thoughts for so long. You guys have given me the motivation to write. And thanks to those of you who spread the word. The facebook links and blog references have helped me gain followers like crazy. I know because I can track it. ;) I've been holding over 1,000 views monthly. I never would've imagined that, starting out, but you guys have seriously been so supportive. Anyways...I'm rambling bad.

I'm going to try and post a Proverbs 31 Woman post. Please know that the post isn't from someone who has the answers, but from someone who is searching as well. Okay?

Over and out!

*Deep Breath*

Just thought I would add that I enjoyed posting that and felt my vigor return. Maybe blogging is kinda like exercising. When you do it, it releases a chemical in your body, which makes you feel good and happy and healthy...and it makes you want to workout more...I don't know if that's really true. I just heard that from somewhere. *shrug*

Anyways, good to be back. Missed it.

P31W: Grab Your Weapons

Guys, I hope you all will forgive me for being so long in posting. For some odd reason, I've just kinda put it off. I don't know why. Maybe I've just lost a taste for it for a while. I think I'm getting bored with this series. But, I'm not going to be a quitter. I'm going to finish it through. :) So bear with me. We are almost done. Anyways, sorry about the lack of posts.

Verse 21 of Proverbs 31 says,

"When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet."

This is a verse on being prepared. For me, this hits home because I can be last minute and unprepared a lot and it causes, naturally, stress. I bring it on myself. I decide to put something off till last minute or decide not to look ahead and it causes serious problems, like fear, stress, worry or doubt.

Lets see what the Bible says about being prepared. Hebrews 11:7,

"By faith Noah, being warned by God concerning events as yet unseen, in reverent fear constructed an ark for the saving of his household. By this he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith."

Rabbit trail: I don't know about ya'll but I love love LOVE how the Bible gives us examples of people who we can learn from. I mean, literally, everything we should be is pictured for us.

Noah, was commended for being prepared. Lets think about it, if Noah had say, "Pfft, God I don't believe You" and didn't build the ark, I wouldn't be writing this blog post. Mankind would have ended. And the Bible says, "Hey, look here! Here is a man who obeyed, and by faith built an ark. He was prepared!" And it points to the Proverbs 31 Woman as a woman to model because of her preparation.

Some definitions online for prepared are "to make ready beforehand" or "to put together". But, my person favorite is this, "to fit out; equip". I think that just sums what our Christian walk should be. We are in a war zone. The Bible calls us soldiers and instructs us to put on heavenly armor. Christians are constantly called to grow, equip and strengthen themselves for the hardships of Christian life. Why?! Why are we asked to do this? Lets look at Ephesians 6:11-12

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Picture this: There is an army of soldiers. They are on the battle field and the enemy is nowhere in  sight. So, they relax, unfold a lawn chair and maybe even bring out the quick tanning lotion. When they are all relaxing, the enemies crest the hill and they are all caught unaware. Wow. That would be totally lame and they would probably be obliterated before they could roll their sleeves down. What good are soldiers if they are not trained and prepared for war? What good is a gun if you have no gun powder or bullets? What good is a strong man if he hasn't been trained for battle.

Prepare. 

Jesus said in John,

"Remember the word that I said to you... If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you... because they do not know Him who sent Me."

We are promised hardship and battle in life. It would be foolish to go without our swords. I love the P31W. She is such a woman of courage. I'm kinda picturing her with a capital "S" on her shirt and a flowing cape or something. But, obviously, they didn't have Marvel comics back then...so thats not likely. Seriously though, why would she have to be afraid. It tells us that she wasn't afraid because she had faith that the scarlet clothing would keep her family warm. She looked ahead, knew it would get cold, and clothed her family with the best.

How are you letting yourself be overcome because you aren't ready? Has the enemy attacked you in little ways - maybe that you didn't feel were a problem at first, but then proved to be huge monsters? Have you allowed a little room for compromise? Have you not battled your sin when it was still under control? These are good things to think about. And we can flip the questions too. For example: How can I not be overcome? What ways can I cut all compromise out of my life?

Good news. These questions have answers. And, they are in the Bible. Like I mentioned earlier. The Bible has every answer for us. Just search it. Study it. Like you do school. You prepare yourself for that final exam, so prepare for the battle against our flesh, rulers, powers and spiritual forces. It's a life and death battle. We would scorn an army that wasn't prepared for battle, but we would be in no place to judge them if we were not ready ourselves. OUR battle is for our souls - the eternal stuff.

I think the Pledge of Allegiance to the Bible sums it pretty well. The Bible is our sword, our spiritual weapon. It's living, active, sharp and keep the enemy and sin away. It reads:

"I pledge allegiance to the Bible, God's Holy Word, I will make it a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and will hide its words in my heart that I might not sin against God."

Making the Words of the Savior, Protector, Omnipotent Lord and King of Kings the lamp that guides are way, is the ultimate and only way to fearlessly prepare for the future.  

Useless, Useless

On occasion, I fall off the face of the blogging planet. Now, is thus. For some reason I haven't had the motivation to write at all. I'll come around eventually. Actually, I had every intent of blogging this evening, but I had to write an English paper. I had one complete one written by 11 this morning, but I deleted it. Yep. The whole thing. I'm pretty hard on them. If I don't like a paper....its gone. Lol. So anyways, I had to write a whole other one, which leaves me very sick of typing and staring at the computer. Yeahhh.

So, anyways, I'm going to completely bore you. I'm going to post my paper. I'm pretty desperate for something to post, so feel free to read or skip it, whatever you like. It's about Leo Tolstoy and vanity in life and all my papers have a Biblical application, at least a little bit. It's not one of my best, but...*shrug*

“Useless, Useless”

   

      The bullet severs his spinal cord, paralyzing him. The man begs to see his hands one last time. Someone raises the dead-weight hands to his face. Glancing from one to the other, he says, “Useless, useless.” John Wilkes Booth utters these famous, last words when he realizes the vanity of his life. As the sun appears over the horizon, Booth passes away, sealing his reputation as the assassin of Abraham Lincoln, forever. Multitudes of people come to the end of their lives, only to find precious time wasted. King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 1:2, “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” Solomon argues that life is unsatisfying, unless lived for Jesus Christ. People long to possess a higher purpose on earth than just living and dying. Leo Tolstoy, a Russian writer pens a few short stories about the commonness and futility of life. These tales are very depressing, but each raises a popular question: how can we live our lives with purpose? Although Tolstoy does not present a direct answer to that question, he gives the reader examples of behaviors to avoid for a brighter future. His true-to-life accounts illustrate the result of misplaced values and self-gratifying wills. Tolstoy’s stories provide insight on emotional and spiritual diseases, such as greed, complacency and hatred, which start small in our hearts, but eventually bring minds and even bodies captive.

     First, greed is fatal because it is never satisfied. Leo Tolstoy’s story “How Much Land Does a Man Need?” tells the tale of a peasant, Pahom, who is never grateful for what he has. Starting out farming on rented land, Pahom goes through a cycle of constant upgrading. Each time he hears of someone with bigger and better property, Pahom grows restless and buys more land. Just when the reader thinks Pahom has finally settled down for good, he uproots his family yet again to pursue wider fields. Eventually, an Indian chief promises to give Pahom all the land he can run around before sun set. Pahom establishes a high goal – 35 cubic miles in one day. Upon achieving this with only moments to spare, Pahom dies from exhaustion. Pahom learns that greed is never quenched when it is already too late. Ecclesiastes 2:22 reads, “What do people get for all the toil and anxious striving with which they labor under the sun?” Pahom places his worth in mere materials which cost him his family, his bliss and his life.

     Second, complacency “drains the brain”. The daily periodical, Bits and Pieces describes complacency as, “a blight that saps energy, dulls attitudes and drains the brain.” In “The Death of Ivan Ilych” Tolstoy provides a frightening example of what complacency looks like. Ivan Ilych has a disease called complacency. He lives his life enjoying simple pleasures. Ivan develops an unremitting habit of playing bridge, cards and working incessantly. He marries a woman he does not really love because she is attractive, proper and brings him pleasure. On his premature deathbed, Ivan evokes his existence and recognizes his lost potential and wasted life. Ivan was contented to leave things the way they were, never attempting to improve himself, his marriage or engaging in his children’s lives. He perishes with many regrets. Proverbs 1:32 reads, “The complacency of fools destroys them.”

     Third, hatred seeks to kill. Tolstoy’s final tale, the “Kreutzer Sonata” is the most tragic. It is a story of a man named Pozdnischeff, who marries his wife for her beauty only, and they hate each other. After suffering almost twenty years of miserable marriage, his wife has an affair with another man. Pozdnischeff finds his wife and the man together. Raging, he grabs a blade and stabs her under the ribs, murdering her. Recalling the incident with regret, he confesses, “It was only when I gazed upon her dead face that I realized what I had done.” The action destroys his life. With tears, Pozdnischeff retells his story to a man on the train. Knowing his life will never be the same, he warns his listener not to make the same mistakes. Hatred is a flame that starts small and, unchecked, will reign. Pozdnischeff knows this truth first hand.

     The characters in Leo Tolstoy’s stories are overwhelmed with greed, complacency and hatred. Tolstoy does not offer direct answers on how to live life purposefully, but he hits the nail on the head by displaying greed, complacency and hatred as poisons that once injected into our lives, maim and destroy. For the Christian, purpose in life is found in following Christ without reserve. Happiness is only obtained when all materials and vanities in our lives are surrendered for the cause of the Savior. For every vain and idle word or deed we will be judged. Solomon sums it well: “For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:14) May we purge ourselves of any fervent greed, lazy complacency or burning hatred which seeks to take away our joy and divest us of our purpose. John Wilkes Booth serves as an example for us all. God forbid it that a Christian should come to the end of his or her life and say with conviction, “Useless, useless.”

Reminisce With Me

This will only mean anything to those who have been there. I have been contemplating past EI experiences and miss some of the friends I made terribly. They are special people and this post is for them. Not to mention that some great great people from my church were a part too. Peace and love to Tennesseeans too. Friends reminisce with me as I post pictures from 2009-10. I miss all of you.

                                                                  2009

Becca and I with our adopted brother, Atsen. 

My team. It had Iain on it. He is back there somewhere. We thought we were going to dominate at everything....we didn't.

Spoons. Yes, we stooped that low.

Love this pic...but look at me....wowzers.

Captures us. Completely. Love you Nomes.

Aww...sweet girls.

I MISS YOU GIRLS!

heh...heh. Love you two.

Uh, this pretty much sums our relationship....Jk.

A day at the lake.

Riding the waves...

Evangelizing down town...this is one of my favs.

The soo priceless play. You remember it?

A random guy someone took a picture of from the van window. Point? None.

                                                                    2010

My hangout group. I miss you two!

The winning team....not mine, btw.

Most hysterical skit in history. I thought I  was going to die.

Gotta love those Johnsons. Man, I miss them.

My Hopie!

This is Nathan and Brian being...Nathan and Brian?

Me and my big bro again!

My team (Nathaniel was on it! Yay!). I've never had as much fun. We didn't win, but made some gooood memories.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

An english proverb says,

"All good things must come to an end."

As depressing as that quote is, I found some comfort in it today. I was contemplating what that really means. Everything good is eventually going to end. All money, power, fame, sensual pleasure, "love", youth, or even something as trivial as good grades or rhythm.

Kinda depressing. I don't know about you all, but I find a lot of my happiness from day to day in these things. Not like they are my "everything" or anything, but so much of what I do and aim for is revolved around them.

I dream of having a wonderful husband one day, but even that, eventually, will end. By death or tragic separation or even the return of the Lord. Dream with me here...what is it that is important to you? What brings you happiness from day to day? Lustful desires? Your family? Or entertainment?

I love this quote by John Piper in his book, "Don't Waste Your Life",

Only one life will soon be past, only whats done for Christ will last.

I was strangely comforted. I thought about my petty "joys" ending and rejoiced over the fact that there is one source of happiness, one good thing that will never EVER come to an end. My Savior. Revelation 1:9 says,

I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.

And because of this we can have a joy that outlasts everything! In John 16, Jesus is telling His disciples how He is going to die and they won't be able to see Him anymore. They were all very upset about it because they didn't know the plan that God intended. Read through verses 20-22:

Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. 21 A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. 22 So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.

Rejoice today! Good things will die away, but we have a Savior who is risen and coming again! Forever we will rejoice with Him. And "no one will take away our joy." What a promise!

Baby, Baby, Baby, OH!

It's an expecting mothers flash mob! This is the sweetest thing! I hope I get to do something like this if I ever get to be a mom! I TOTALLY WOULD! Lol. Praise the Lord for moms who are celebrating the lives of children and their motherhood!

His Little Princess

To all the girls out there:

(please don't read this if you don't like movie spoilers.)

Sara was orphaned. Her mother died and her father was lost in war. She lived in the attic at Minchin's Seminary School for Girls as a servant. And the mean schoolmarm Miss Minchin just took her most valued possession, a locket with pictures of her father and mother inside.

I've seen this movie many times and cried *again* tonight while watching it. I think the movie holds a lot of truths. Okay, some things are totally not true, but otherwise I think it offers good ideas and the heart wrenching scenes move me to tears every time!

Sara grew up in India where she was told that every girl is a princess. Her father called her princess and she viewed every other girl as a princess - special in their own way. It was unconditional. No matter what they looked like, were going through, how much money they had...they were all still princesses.

One of my favorite quotes in the movie is this:

Miss Minchin: Don't tell me you still fancy yourself a princess? Child, look around you! Or better yet, look in the mirror.
Sara Crewe: I am a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren't pretty, or smart, or young. They're still princesses. All of us. Didn't your father ever tell you that? Didn't he? 

One scene that makes me bawl (Okay, don't judge me! I'm sappy! Deal with it!) every time is when Sara goes to buy a pastry with a little extra money she has (if you haven't seen the movie, she is a servant and is very mistreated - so this is a treat). She sits down to eat it and spies a mother and her three children standing in the cold trying to sell flowers. They were obviously homeless and hungry. Sara looks down at her pastry and back at those girls. Slowly she walks over and hands it to them. They - naturally - were delighted. After Sara walks away, they catch up and give her a flower. The mother says, "For the princess."

I love that part! I think we are all princesses. We don't have to have tiaras. gowns, perfect make-up, good grades, a nice car, tons of friends or even family. We are all princesses. It makes me think of Psalm 139:14

"I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well."

Read this verse! This one excites me so much!

Romans 8:14-17 "For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. ¹⁵ For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” ¹⁶ The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, ¹⁷ and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together."

If your father is a King, you would be called a...a princess! I like to think of it that way. I have a heart that God cares about, that He loves and cherishes. Is it possible that when He looks at me He thinks of me as His little princess?

Girl-out-there-reading-this-post, you are so special! Do you realize that? I don't care who has set what to you, you are made just the way God wanted you to be and He is a loving, caring God. If you don't know Him, I would contact someone and talk to them about Him. He is a Daddy worth pursuing. A King! I mean, what girl hasn't wanted to be a princess at some point in their lives?

You are a princess with a fragile, precious heart. One that only a King could really protect with His mighty army and unending love.

Chick-Fil-A See You On Monday

This made me laugh hysterically! They are amazing! My favorite part is when he is petting the Chicken Minis. I about died!