P31W: On Sexual Abstinence

(Please don't read this post if you get easily freaked out about this type of stuff, because I don't intend on watering it down.) 

Abstinence: A word that most people are familiar with. Some people look at it with respect and others feel like it is a stab to humans who haven't been abstinence.

If you have been reading the last posts, we are talking about how we can be Proverbs 31 Women TODAY and how we can be doing good to our future husbands even if we haven't met them yet. And one way we can do this is through sexual abstinence.

For those of you who may not be familiar with this, abstinence (aka purity -I try not to use this word as much in posts because it brings a bad taste to people's mouths) is the decision to wait until marriage to have sex. It's deciding that you want to be a virgin until you are married.

The Bible condemns pre-marital sex. It says in Hebrews 13:4 "Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral."  

Why is it that the meaning of sex has been so devalued and defiled. It's the norm to get in bed with someone you just feel physically attracted to and call it love or even worse have "friends with benefits" who can just satisfy your current needs. This mindset is because we have lost the meaning of what the marriage bed really means and why it was created.

I read "and the Bride Wore White" by Dannah Gresh. She offered some great info on the heavenly picture of sex. In biblical times a bride and groom were given a set of white sheets that they were expected to sleep on. When they did, the woman would bleed (all virgins will the first time expect in very rare cases) and the couple could show the sheets as proof that they were virgins (Okay, I know that's gross, but it's what they did!) It's a blood covenant between us, our husbands and God.

When a jewish guy wanted to marry a jewish girl he had to have a meeting with her father and he had to pay some sort of "price for her". Once the payment was made he had to go build a house for her. During this time the bride was to be waiting with a pretty dress by her side, cleaned and smelling wonderful! Her oil lamp was to be kept burning at all times to let him know she was ready. The moment the house was done they were married - no matter the hour! Then they consecrated their marriage and the celebrating began. (See Matthew 25! This is a great parable about the ten virgins who waited for the groom!)

This is a beautiful picture. God came to earth and paid a very very high price for us. He bought us and sealed the covenant with his blood. He has left to prepare a place for us and we will leave with him to celebrate eternally. What powerful symbolism.

Read this quote by Ed Wheat that Dannah Gresh sited in her book, "The sex relationship recieves such emphasis in the scriptures that we begin to see it was meant not only to be a wonderful continuing experience for the husband and wife, but it also was intended to show us something even more wonderful about God and His relationship with us. Ephesians 5:31-32 spells it out: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery but I speak concerning the church." Thus, the properly and lovingly executed and mutually satisfying sexual union is God's way of demonstrating to us a great spiritual truth. It speaks to us of the greatest love story ever told - of how Jesus gave himself for us and is intimately involved with and loves...those who believe in Him."

Girls, this is what Satan is doing everything he can to destroy. He doesn't want this holy covenant fulfilled in our lives. He wants us to forget the meaning and live by the seat of our pants, giving "love" to any young man that steals our hearts. Just like God should have our whole hearts, so should our future husband. And if we wait, we will get to see this covenant and vow fulfilled. That excites me and make me more determined than ever to wait! 

It's hard when all around you people are having sex and doing what just "feels right", but the rewards for you and your husband will be tremendous. And proudly proclaim your decision to others - it's not something to be ashamed of. For many girls, this could mean a promise ring, a journal about it, a written commitment, helping friends...whatever. My promise ring reminds me. I have been asked a few times why I wear it on my left ring finger instead of my right. I love answering this question. I wear it there to remind myself, that I am currently taken by Christ and no man can have me till He gives the word. No man can steal me away from my Father. When I get engaged, I want to put it on over my engagement ring and then at the alter replace it with a wedding band.

A Proverbs 31 Woman will save her gift of virginity, delight in waiting and dream of her future. Dream of your future. Think of the day when that covenant is fulfilled. You can say in gratitude to your helping Lord, "I did it. You got me through. I'm here and beautiful symbolism has taken place in my life."

What reward will compare?