The Mask: A Random Poem

Okay, three things. First off, please pray for me. I have been sending in job applications and I've had two responses. (A) Larivieres (spl?)and (B) Chick Fil A. I'm totally spazing because Chick Fil A told be that they weren't hiring so it would be a while before I heard from them, but I got a call this afternoon and we are having a interview on Friday at 9am. And Larivieres said that I couldn't even train with them unless I knew how crazy it could get, because it's stressful. *gulp* So they are going to let me come on Friday night to go in the kitchen, watch, ask questions and go to tables with the waitresses. 

To say the least, I'm excited but 100% freaked out. 

Second, I have a channel on God Tube and I've been uploading things. Random school videos mostly. Check it out.   http://www.godtube.com/ashes94/

The third thing is - here is a poem I wrote. I wrote it in like 45 minutes and didn't critique very much. So hopefully it makes good since. Lol. :) 

I look in the dark mirror,

Wishing to see my face clearer.

My fingernails tear the side of my face,

Trying to remove even a trace.

Scraping, ripping, pulling free,

That mask which so entangles me.

I know my disconsolate fate –

For I waited much too late.

I will have to see my grave,

The mask – my master, I – the slave.

It strangles, holds and kills my life,

Leading me down a road of strife.

I didn’t mean to put it there,

It snuck up on me, unaware.

I was only trying to fit in,

I didn’t know I’d let it win.

I only changed myself a little

Not feeling that a big committal.

But that change lead down a road,

Where enemies and strangers strode

Off’ring me the best of days,

If I changed my petty ways

And pretent to be someone I not.

It didn’t seem so hard a shot.

People would like me, and even care,

So, not stopping to beware

In ways big and small I changed,

Hoping for fair exchange.

I changed my hair, the way I talked,

Who I hung with and where I walked.

At first the results were good,

It felt the way I thought it would

But the mask began to grow,

It started little and very slow.

Growing from the inside – out,

Filling my mind with fearful doubt.

I tried to push the fear aside,

And listened to my shameful pride.

“It’s no big deal” I tried to say.

“I’ll let it stay another day.

I can wait to remove it,

It hasn’t affected much –yet.”

So in foolishness I let the black

Eek around and down my back.

With sneaky and with cunning art,

The mask strangled my blackened heart.

I’m no longer who I used to be –

This mask, so strong, defines me.

I let it happen, I let it stay,

And now the time for me to pay.

I looked at my bleeding hands,

My power not meeting its demands.

In anguish I crumbled to the floor,

Wanting death and nothing more.

In my moment of deepest despair,

A voice whispered from somewhere.

“See? Your nothing!” It accused,

With words, me, it abused.

It hissed around inside my ear

Saying words I had to hear.

It told me of all I’ve done,

The battles I’ve lost, the fights I won,

The way I lie and how I cheat

Reminding me of each defeat.

But another broke through the air

Causing the old voice to swear.

A voice said, gentle and true,

“You know what I’ve done for you?

You have no need to cry,

Your tears we must dry.

I’ve paid for all your crime

Let go of them, they’re mine.”

I felt a warm hand touch my face.

It felt like a tender embrace.

I jolted as what felt like rain,

Ran down my spine, easing pain.

The mask snapped and rolled down,

It fell and tumbled to the ground.

What I held dear for so long,

Melted away in joyful song.

For the first time, I felt free!

No shackles were enslaving me.

The black mask sizzled on the floor

That life I treasure no more.