Saturday, November 12, 2011

Do All Men Leave?

I talked with my sister and my heart broke. She said, "I've really developed a dis-trust for men.They all leave." Really, almost every man in her life has left, broken her heart, not cared, been abusive, and trampled her. Mostly, they left and didn't care. When she said that, it hit a certain nerve in my heart and I shuddered.

To an extent, I have the same testimony. I can't point to a man in my family that hasn't left, abused, controlled, or really and truly cared. Why is this? Why have men lost the value of selfless love and devotion and value women and children for what they are?

The question I'm grappling with today - even though I know the truth - is "Do all men leave?"  Just being 100% real with you guys, her statement revealed a little, lurking fear that I think I've had for a very, very long time. Sometimes, I think I'm a stickler when it comes to love and sometimes build a wall with people...maybe this is fear? I don't know...

Mentally, I know that there are good, decent, God-fearing men out there. But where are they? Why aren't they in my family? If they are out there, why am I not seeing the testimonies of their love for God lived out before me?

Ya'll, I really can say that I can't see this. Sure, I know there are great men of leadership and even those of you trying to be an example online and doing a great job, but I'm talking about people I daily encounter in my life. I don't know these people. And if I do, I don't realize they are special men of devotion...and that should be seen as a problem.

I'm not talking so much about teenagers - although this is where manhood and love for God must start. I am to an extent, but I'm more talking about adults, fathers and husbands. No one loves like they have been commanded to do anymore. I'm not trying to be harsh on guys. I know God is working in some men, I just haven't been given an opportunity to see this work. This is why I'm sad and hurting for the men in our world.

Now, to the age-group this blog targets: you guys, please, please, please be the type of men that no young woman is ever going to have to question. Don't ever give a young lady reason to doubt your love, your devotion to God, your commitment or anything else. I don't know if you know this, but woman need security. When a man leaves them or hurts them (physically or emotionally) or doesn't care about them, it turns their world's upside-down.

Don't be another man that just. . .left.


Jennifer said...

I can't tell you how much I feel for you right now, or how shocked I was to see a post about this, since it is something I've been thinking about lately.

Mostly, I've been thinking about how people so often disappoint us, and that's exactly what you are talking about. More and more I'm wondering where the decent people are in the world (and not just the male variety).

Over the past few motnhs I'm reminded again and again that Jesus is ultimately the only One we can rely on, the only One who doesn't disappoint. And I'm not saying that to be cynical. It's just easy to forget that He is all we need when we're on this earth with billions of people around us. But He is all we need. It just takes a little while to learn that.

Kaylin Waldrop said...

Ashley, unfortunately, the number of men who are passionately following Christ is dwindling. We live in a culture where virtually everything is seen as temporary, requiring no real commitment.

The bottom line is that we all are born of the flesh and it is in our nature to let others down. However, Jesus Christ always remains faithful...he never changes (hebrews 13:8). It is also impossible for God to lie, so He can always be trusted (hebrews 6:18). In Psalms 118:8, it says, "It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." People are going to let us down, but Jesus never will. The only chance we have to being able to be trusted is by following the One we can trust whole heartedly

It really breaks my heart that you have not had man in your life set a godly example. That just proves to me that Satan is doing good job in tearing apart families by tearing down the head of the household. The very picture of Christ (as the head) and his bride is becoming distorted in our minds. But one day, it will all be set right again.

There are some men out there who are trying their best, with God's help, to be the men God has called them to be and to offer that security that women need. They're by no means perfect, but they are striving for Christ first and foremost. I pray that one day you have the opportunity to meet one of these men.

Miguel said...

I wish I could say otherwise, but the truth of the matter is that all men--in some way or another--have failed and will fail again. And I sincerely wish I could say we are trying, but the truth of the matter is that the majority of "men" today simply don't care. I wish I could say that not all men leave... and maybe I can.

Because even if all men do leave, there is one who never will. And even if not all men try hard enough, there is one who already did enough. So I seek to apologize for the evils we've done, and I wish I could say that there really good men out there. But this I know, and only this I know for sure, He won't let you down. Not now, not ever. He never leaves.

". . .For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" - Hebrews 13:5b

As for me? All I can do is ask forgiveness, for myself and my fellow men who have left.

Anonymous said...


Daniel G said...

Aww Ashley, that's really sad :( but no, not ALL men leave. Unfortunately a seemingly vast majority do, but there are still Godly men out there, and I've had the pleasure of meeting a few, and hopefully when I grow up I will become one also. But don't dispare, in God's timing he will introduce you to a real man, that he has planed for you

Mademoiselle Siân said...

For three seconds, I thought you were talking about me. XD

Ashley said...

@Jennifer and Kaylin: You girls are so right. It's oober easy for me to forget that only one person out there is going to never let me down - Jesus. Thank God I have Him to rely on. If it wasn't for that knowledge I don't know how I would ever have any hope. I wonder how people who deny Christ do it.

@Miguel: Dear Cuz, you always extend a hand of encouragement to me when I need one the most. Thank you for your tender heart and tender spirit.

@Daniel: Yes, you are right! I know He will prove Himself faithful like always. Thanks for reminding me. Keep on Daniel and you'll be a great man of God yet!

Elizabeth said...

I haven't had nearly as much pain as it sounds like you've had...however, lately I've been dissappointed by guys that I thought were of strong character who did some things I really did not think were honourable. Its really hurtful. And it honestly makes me wonder if there are any decent guys out there...

But deep down, I know that there are really, really nice guys who are trying to follow God and do what He wants. They'll mess up sometimes (because they're only human) but you will find guys who truly, truly care. Don't give up! Keep trusting in God! I know that it will happen.

I know that this was written a week ago...but please know that you are in my prayers. :)