Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Day 7 - My dreams

Dear Dreams,

You are both a curse and a blessing. It is you that has me confused about what God wants me to do with my life. You invade my thoughts and terrorize me. Yet, you motivate me. You confuse me, but give me something to aim for. Sometimes I wish you weren't there, but I know if you weren't that I would live a totally passionless life. And passion is what drives me on from day to day. Passion about what I could do for God and stuff.

Sometimes you have me running in circles, completely unfocused. Yet other times, I know exactly what I'm shooting for because of you and end up doing something productive.

It is very hard to ignore you. I want to pursue you, but I must ask myself what God would want of me. Not myself. I do hope that you are part of God's plans but you never know where He could have me. He sometimes has some really random plans. But it's an adventure. Let's see where it takes us.

Your dreamer,

Day 6 - Stranger

Hi Stranger,
I'm not sure exactly what to say to someone I have never met before. I know you are out there somewhere and if there is one thing I think you should know, it's that I care about you and so does the Lord. Jesus Christ is the one Lord and He is worth pursuing. He definitely changed me a lot. I hope you are doing great, and I wonder if you will continue to be a stranger, or maybe we will come in contact one day? Who knows?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Day 5- Future Spouse

Dear Unknown Future Spouse,

Do I know you? Are you currently in my life or are you some person that I have never even met before? It's funny to think about really. I wonder if you are going to be one of those people who is going to be hard to talk to at first or if you are going to be a really loud talkative guy. I kinda picture myself with a quieter guy but, hey, WHO KNOWS! I am really looking forward to what God has for us. I know that the person He is preparing for me is going to be ultra special! ULTRA! Just know, I already think so highly of you and it's possible that I have never even seen your face. >.>

Maybe this is corny, but I did am exercise (And the Bride Wore White) where I had to make a list of the things I want to see in you. Scared? Should be. Ha ha, just kidding. I know that if I aim at absolutely nothing, I'll hit it. So I want to know exactly what I want and what God's version of a Biblical husband is. So goes for me. I have to aim high. My model is the Proverbs 31 woman. I'll never be like her, but I want to.

I won't lie, there are some times when it is really hard to stay emotionally, physically and spiritually pure. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to make it. I know I can with the Lord and I hope you are trying to remain pure too.

I hope that when we marry that we will be so in love. I hate seeing the frumpy couples that never show affection or anything. They don't seem happy that they are married. I NEVER want that to happen to us. I hope we are always going to be head over heals in love with each other. Don't get me wrong. I know that love isn't always based on gushy feelings. In fact, part of marriage is loving and respecting one another - even when it's hard. I look forward to that believe it or not. I'm looking forward to those times when I'm going to really have to deny myself in order to care for your needs above mine. Hard? Yes. Rewarding? Undoubtedly. I know that through our marriage God will mold us more and more into His image if we keep Him and the other above ourselves. There is no better way to grow closer to one another than through really learning to be like Christ and loving and glorifying Him more whole-heartedly.

Random times you will pop into my head. Not knowing who you are, I just say a prayer for you. Hoping that at that moment you are walking in the light and serving God, denying yourself and empowered by our Father's strength.

I really cannot wait. I hope we are best friends and have a blast together. I think we will.

Your girl,

Friday, December 17, 2010

For what?

What am I doing? I am appalled at my ability to be able to live my life without giving thought to others' pain. I am such a selfish person. I have thought about me and I all the time. I haven't cared to invest in my neighbors or the people at the Dollar General or even my friends like I should.

God, forgive me for being so complacent. Forgive me for thinking that Holy Joe at church should be the one to witness. What am I doing? Why am I wasting my time? If I am not here to love people and care for their needs, serving my God, WHY AM I HERE? To be a facebook addict? To write great books? To sing? To play sports? To get a career? Those things are going to pass away.

God, I've ignored your commandment to witness to others. I've blown it off. I haven't regarded Your Word. I should be punished for my selfish protection of the best news in the world. The news that YOU love ME AND THEM. The news that can save the world. I have it! It's in my possession. God, I'm afraid that I am an unworthy steward of such a possession!

The pain out there. If I listen, I can almost hear them crying. I can almost hear people asking "Why?". I can imagine people questioning me, wondering why the heck I didn't share You with them. Wondering why they are here and wishing they knew the purpose of their lives.

Every person, has experienced some amount of pain. Everyone.Some worse than others. I know that you are the healing to that pain. I am experiencing pain at this moment. You know the whole and You are the healing and the help. Where does my help come from? You God!

And I selfishly hoard the remedy to our pain. I still go through hard times, but I can endure the pain because I know you and that makes all the difference in the world.

God help me to be more outspoken. To love. to tell. To care. To heal. To mend. To listen. To be. To help. To encourage. To inspire.

What can I do?

Your story. A cry for the broken.

I got an idea. I can't tell you guys what it is yet. Sorry, but it is about encouraging people to help others with their pain. I need your help, so I can write this thing. I want you guys to respond to this question in the comments. Please leave something, even if it is small.

Here are some questions that I need you guys to answer and feel FREE to do it ananymously - actually, I encourage you too. It's not about who says what. I need it to give me ideas about what people struggle with from day to day. As weird as this sounds, please give me a story of pain from your life.

1: What has happened in your life that has been painful? (unfaithfulness, betrayal, death...ect.)

2: What things do you find yourself giving in too for comfort? God? Cutting? Friends? Media? ect?

3: What sins do you struggle with?

4: Is there anything that you feel like overcomes you?

5: Share a story of a person or thing that has helped you, encouraged you or changed your life? What was it and why did it help so much?

6: Name some ways that you find yourself helping other people in pain.

7: Is there a Bible verse that you find comforting in painful times? Please share.

8: How do you feel people reacting to you? With love, and accepting? Or with discomfort and awkwardness?

9: Be open about yourself. What do feel like people (namely Christians) feel about you?

10: Have you ever felt like you needed help, but no one was there to help you? Please share.

I KNOW that these are personal questions, but bare with me, you guys. If I could figure out how to do this....

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day 5 - Sibling

Ok, sorry, I know I'm behind really bad. I am trying to post but I just never have the TIME! GRRR!

Dear Becca,
Wow, where do I even begin? You are the greatest sister I could ever ask for. I know we have had our fights and differences but you have always been there for me.I know that you feel like you have to protect me and look out for me. That means so much to me. I hope you never stop that. It makes me feel like I really have some one who cares about exactly how I'm feeling and what I want and my needs. I love how you and I are so random together. We just stare in each others eyes and say something really dumb and then bust out laughing. Sometimes I need those random laughs more than you know. I love wearing your clothes. They are always so much better than mine.

You always encourage me so much sis! You show me things form different angles and help me see. You let me know when I'm lacking in an area so I can get better. I get prideful at times so I really need those reminders.

I'm sorry when I am sometime annoying and don't treat you with the respect I ought to. You are so precious to be with but sometimes I just forget that.Thanks for being so patient with me and loving me anyways.

Thanks for always paying for me. Dude, I for-real owe you so much money. I need to get better at paying you back. Mmmm, all the milk-shakes and fries. A picture of health.

Thanks for being an encouragement in the Lord. I pray for you all the time. I hope that you grow up to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Somehow, I know you will be. Just follow the Lord with all your heart. Like the man who sold everything to buy the one valuable pearl, surrender your  life to Christ.

I love you.


Thursday, December 9, 2010

Day 3 -Meh Parents

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

Whoo, I'll tell ya. We have been through a lot together. Hard times, good times, fun times, boring times, strange times and well....I'll leave it at that. Lol. I know I'm lucky because I can truly call my parents two of my very very good friends. Thank you both so much for teaching me to walk in the Lord and wanting what God wants for me. I owe you guys for never completely squashing all my crazy ideas and dreams. I always have some new,crazy idea and you guys just nod and say, "That's cool", wondering what on earth possessed me to embrace such an endeavor. Ya'll never say, "That's a dumb idea." or "Why the HECK would you want to do THAT?" You guys have been real patient with me and for that I am thankful. You guys have driven me to tim-buck-too to do the things I want to do and have poured gobs of time and money and miles into things like my braces, singing, piano, drama, volunteering, and camp barnabas, soccer, basketball and many more things. Thanks for the late night convos, pushing me to my fullest capacity, and reminding me to always seek the Lord. I love spending time with you two and being goof-balls together. I know it makes you guys sad that I'm growing up and might move away soon, but trust me, I'll always come back to be with you guys! Love you both sooo sooo much!

Yo Daughter,

<---Look left.

Hi. I have a poll. Please vote. I've had around forty hits in the last few days....ermm...and six votes? Lol. I'm going to be posting soon. I'm sorry, I've had really long days the past while. Seriously, Tuesday I was gone for fourteen hours. O.o And ever time I'm home I'm cramming school or something. I'll be back soon. Hopefully tonight. In the meantime, feel free to do a little voting.


Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 2 - My Crush?

I know this crush ain't going away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay....going away-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay...Lol gotta love David Archuletta.

This is dumb.

My Beloved, Adored, Cherished, Prized, and Dear Crush,
Can you even imagine how much you mean to me? Probably not, you'd have to have one heck of an imagination which I know you do not possess - not like me anyways. I don't even know your name, but every time I get around you I can't even say anything and most of the time I end up dropping my books in front of you and then I get embarrassed because you see my multiple books on Cereology (study of crop circles) and give me strange looks, but you know what? I know what those looks mean. They say to me, "You know? I think you are weird and the fact that you study Cereology is weird and you have warts on your nose, but I love you. I love you anyways." And then my heart is glad because I know. The other day when you were walking by you bumped into me and I KNOW you did it on purpose. You can't hide from me! i know you too well.....blah blah blah...

Haha! Luckily, I don't have a crush. I'm not making fun of the people who do, I just think %80 of crushes are weird because most times they are based on the stuff that doesn't matter instead of how much you know a guy. Comprendas?

At this stage in my life, the LAST thing that needs to happen to me is a serious crush. I don't need that at all. I find them very distracting. Last time I had a crush it really kept my mind off of what needed to be done and somewhere in la-la land thinking about that crush (who I hardly ever talked to....so dumb), which ended up dying down and then becoming none existent. Therefore, completely WASTING MY TIME! I know we are all humans and stuff so it is natural to be distracted by crushes (of the opposite sex, btw) but when you are young...13-18 and the Lord isn't opening any doors for you, then don't go looking for some guy/girl to have a crush on and having these silly "high-school-relationships". They are pointless and really take the focus off the joy of serving Christ and SINGLENESS! Yay!

Okay, I'm rambling really bad. (Sorry LoVizzle I'm not using my new motto, "Think and gather...then write.") I'm not condemning crushes. I'm just saying that they can be detrimental to one's spiritual growth and accomplishments. So if you have this nasty, pointless crush that just won't go away then I would encourage you to give it to God. I've had to do that so many times, because I don't want to be distracted when the time is not right for me to be moving toward a marriage or anything. I've found when I give things to the Lord and say, "God, I'm serious this time I really don't want this!" that He really does help me. Until God gives you super-natural ability to juggle both a guy and serving Him, which I believe is around marrying age, then just stick with serving the Lord because it is near impossible to do both (in my experience anyways). One will get the better treatment and because of our fallen nature, most times it's the crush. God is so cool, when I finally give those crushes over to Him, He relieves me and I have such a better time serving Christ, others, I'm more focused and have more purpose. Guys are cute but God's better. ;)

Sorry, I didn't mean to talk that long and I hope I didn't sound like I was bossing everyone around. It's just a warning, because I know I have wasted tons of energy trying to look right, act right and be cute or what-not around so and so and I regret it.   

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Day 1 -Your Best Friend

Okay I will write a letter to my best friend. An maaybe a few other of my really good friends.

Carlee (a.k.a carwee, carwiki, carkiwi, carlos, carcahwee/lee, carkeys, cark, cars, butt, sis),

I never thought that I could be such good friends with someone so different from me. We're white and black, left and right, day and night. Ya know? You are way more high-strung and not reserved. Me, on the other hand, am more laid back and can be reserved around certain people. I love it. I think we balance each other pretty good, don't you?

I'm so happy to call you my best friend. There is no one I would rather spend my time with. I can be me around you. I feel like I never have to hold anything back with you. Its just me. I'm so glad that we can have little arguments but then work it out. I think it has really made us better friends. If you and I hadn't had our arguments I don't think I would know as much about you.

One thing I love about you is your sensitive personality. I love how you seem to feel other people and get chill bumps over a sad song. I love you have a heart to see people come to know Christ, the way you get fired up about politics and would be the first person to club someone if they said something mean about me. Lol.
I love laughing with you! I'm just saying! I can't be around you without running to the bathroom. Your sense of humor kills me. And you never get mad at me. Dude, for real! I have done some awful stuff before and I'm amazed at how you let things roll of your back like you do.

I really believe that I have grown so much with you as my best friend. I imagine us as old old ladies watching our kids play in the back yard. I hope with all my heart that you and I aren't going to stop being friends. You are the most amazing friend I could ever have and I wouldn't trade you for anybody.

*gives flying tackle hug while squealing*

Your Bestie,

Wow, that was really fun...I think I am going to write a letter also to two other people that I'm pretty close to.

Girl, I haven't known you very long, but I just want you to know how happy I am that you and I met. Seriously, it hasn't been a year and your emails have been such an encouragement to me. You are a Godly young lady and I love spending time with you. You live sooooo far away. I hate it. I hope we continue to be friends and grow in the Lord together.  You are so mature in your walk with the Lord for your age. Can't wait for Youth Conference!
Love you, Hopie

A song reminds me of you and me. "I've hear it said that people come int our lives. For a reason. Bringing something we must learn and we are lead to those who help us most to grow if we let them and help them in return." Lol. I don't know if it goes the same for you, but I'm always sooo inspired by the way you jump and tackle things. You want to sing and do theater so you pour your life into becoming that. That is so cool. I need more focused like that. And being with you has inspired me to be better. I know I'm the singer I am because I wanted to be like you. :) Thanks for being someone to laugh with, sing with, and talk about theater "drama" with. Lol. I love you bunches!

I shall be doing this...

Okay, so a few of my friends are doing this thing on their blogs. And because I'm unoriginal I'm going to copy them. Well, I okayed it with the girl who started it (Kirstin). So I am going to be writing a letter on my blog every day for thirty days to various peoples.

The line-up will be as follows. So keep checking back because you may end up having mail! Lol.

Day 1- Your Best Friend
Day 2- Your crush
Day 3- Your parents
Day 4- Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5- Your Future Spouse
Day 6- A stranger
Day 7- Your dreams
Day 8- Your favorite internet friend
Day 9- Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10- Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Day 11- A deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12- The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13- Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14- Someone you've drifted away from
Day 15- The person you miss most
Day 16- Someone that's not in your state/country
Day 17- Someone from your childhood
Day 18- The person that you wish you could be
Day 19- Someone that pesters your mind-good or bad
Day 20- The one that broke your heart hardest
Day 21- Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22- Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23- The person you last kissed
Day 24- The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25- The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26- The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27- The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28- Someone that changed your life
Day 29- The person that you want to tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30- Your reflection in the mirror

Friday, December 3, 2010

Howdy! I can't believe I'm blogging!

*ducks because of flying rocks*

I know! I know! I'm sorry! I should be a more faithful blogger. BUT HEY! Guess what? I finished NaNoWriMo. I didn't think I would be able to squeeze 50,000 words in one month, but I did! And it wasn't that bad. I actually finished with 50,900. Snap!

But seriously, now that I am trough I want and plan to blog more. This morning I was just wanting to share some really great scripture that I read this morning. Believe it or not...it's from Deuteronomy. I was reminded this morning that God does listen to our prayers because I have been doing this "reading through the Bible plan" and it skips all around like crazy. I was reading 2 Kings, then Jeremiah, then Joel and I just entered Deuteronomy yesterday. Well, I don't know about you guys, but sometimes I feel so discouraged reading through the Old Testament. I especially go through these times where God seems far away and idle in my life (of course, I know He's not! IT'S ME!!). So of course during those times it is that I'm reading this pretty hefty, hard-to-keep-a-two-minute-attention-span-with Old Testament books. So anyways, this morning I just prayed. "God please teach me this morning. Give me some really great verses to chew on today!"

HE DID! yea!

I hope I haven't been missing them all along (which I probably have). But I feel like God led me to the perfect chapters today. They were rich! If you haven't read Deuteronomy 4, 5, and 6. I would recommend it!

Okay, I will only talk about a few of the verses because that's all I really have time for. Chapter 4 was dealing with the subject of idols. We all know that the Israelites were prone to keep returning to idols. I always wonder why, but then, I guess I do it too. (One thing I HAVE learned reading all the OT books is the patience of God! Whooo, I'm telling ya. The nation of Israel was very naughty but God kept sparing them and bringing them back to Himself. If you are a Christian...this should sound oddly familiar.) And I know this is probably a verse that's been beat over your heads. It has mine, but I LOVE about scripture how one verse that you've heard a million times can suddenly hit you home for the millionth time.

4:24 "For the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God."  

When I think about that I become really grateful. The God of the universe is jealous. Not of everyone - that's too general. But zoom in a little. *looks through scope* WHOA! There's you and me down there. He's jealous of You and ME! When I stray form God and turn to idols (my mirror, the computer, TV, football, school, monstrous ACT tests, lies, my story world...ect) He is jealous of me. And desires me to toss those things aside and be with Him.

This makes me think about Devos differently. I'll be the first to admit that I approach daily devotions kinda legalistic at times. Thinking, "Well, if I don't do this I'm gonna have a bad day today." or "God's gonna be mad if I don't." or "I wanna be a good Christian."

NO! I need to approach it with this attitude. "God wants to be with me. GOD wants to be with ME. Whoa! that makes me sooo happy that I can't wait to be in His Word and pray this morning." Although, even if we aren't excited like that, it is still good to do it anyways...good practice. God says, "Read the Bible and pray." So do it. Even if it doesn't taste like chocolate at the moment.

And here is another scripture from the same chapter. Vv. 29-31 "29 But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. 30 When you are in distress, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, when you turn to the LORD your God and obey His voice 31 (for the LORD your God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant of your fathers which He swore to them.

WOW! That is a beautiful promise. If we seek God with all our hearts and souls we WILL find Him. That's a promise. If we are truly seeking Him He isn't going to hide Himself (not saying that it's always a piece of cake to feel His presence - it's not. That's part of the learning and growing experience.).

When you are in distress...when you turn to the Lord and obey His voice...He will not forsake.

Thank you, God.

Now, it is for us to dive whole-heartedly into the Word to find out what seeking and obeying God with all our heart and soul should look like, then DO IT! And stop talking about it. I feel like Christians (me especially) constantly talk about things. "We ought to do this." and "Go thou and do this." and "Be like this." and "Don't do this." BUT WE NEVER DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *pulls hair* Why are you like that? Why am I like that? *head bang*

Okay. Conclusion. Read Bible. Seek God with everything. Then do what Bible says. Be changed.

We finally got that. Moving on!

Okay Deuteronomy 5 is about the 10 Commandments. That's good reading there. Just refreshing. Hey, you know what? I found that I kinda forgot all the 10 Commandments. I did. Wellll, I KNOW them, but from five on I can't say them in order. *talks to self* Ash, dear, those are fundamentals. Learn them.

Deuteronomy 5:32-33 "32 “Therefore you shall be careful to do as the LORD your God has commanded you; you shall not turn aside to the right hand or to the left. 33 You shall walk in all the ways which the LORD your God has commanded you, that you may live and that it may be well with you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which you shall possess.

 Just another fantastic promise. Ponder it! More about STOP TALKING and FOLLOW!

As for chapter 6. Maybe this is dumb, but I was rather surprised to see that the greatest commandment in the old testament was to love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, mind, soul and strength. I mean, there isn't anything wrong with it of course. But for some reason it struck me as odd. I've read Deuteronomy a couple times (due to failed attempts to read through the Bible) and it never clicked with me before.

Read verses 4-8. "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
 I really like what God tells them to do with these commandments. In a nut shell He says, "Live and breath them." He even says to write them on your doors and gates. Hmmm. Maybe we should try it!! I like the idea.
An just a question what is a frontlet? It's giving me some great mental pictures. Lol. Hey, I don't think it's absurd though. God is saying that it should be on the front of our minds ALL THE TIME. We should constantly be thinking about God, His love, and how we can serve Him better.

That's enough of my thoughts for the day. Hope I didn't confuse the heck out of ya!


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Almost There

I'm almost done with my NaNoWriMo. As soon as I am I will be back on the blog. Sorry guys. Thanks for being so patient with me.

A few more days....*pops knuckles*

Saturday, November 20, 2010

New Blog

Guess what? I have a second blog now! Check it out. www.myboringmusings.blogspot.com

Monday, November 15, 2010

4000 words behind. Not the warm fuzzy feeling.

Yeah. The title says it all. I am currently 4,000 words behind in my nanowrimo. 4000 WORDS! AH! It was easy at first, but all it takes is for me to have one busy day and it's hard to catch up. I can write about 1,000 per hour IF I'm focused. So, i miss one day and I'm 1,667 words behind. This past week I missed two days and had a kinda protective-not- really day. So I'm 4,000 words behind. Pray for me. I think I'm going insane.

I figured I should post a little something. At the LEAST a howdy. I feel bad for not being consistent. My bad.

Truth be told, I've actually been a little down lately. I know I shouldn't be (I mean, I'm a child of God's. How could I be down, right?) but I still am. Don't you hate when that little thing just sets on in this horrible-depressed-ish mood? That is happening to me right now. It stinks.

But I was happy because even thought I've been sad, God has been reminding me that He is the best friend I could ever have and He is the best shoulder to cry on. And even though I'm down He's reminded me that it's okay as long as I am remembering that God's in control and He knows what He's doing. YEAH! I was happy to hear that, when He told me....*thinks* In His cool-God-whispering sort of way.

I'm so glad that He knows what He's doing cuz I totally don't. :)

Here is a great verse. Psalm 38:4 "Taste and see that the Lord is good."

OoO I don't do that enough. I started thinking...how many times do I just reflect on the goodness of God? Often. But not near often enough. I think we would stop complaining and having so many issues if we just realized the sheer goodness of God. God loves us. For real. We can taste it.

Think about that.

We can taste it!

I don't know about you, but I can taste the goodness of God in pizza and mozzarella cheese sticks (with marinara sauce) - both of which I haven't had in an eternity.

And we can see it. Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of god and the firmament showeth His handiwork."

I'm actually watchin my hands typing right now and thinking. God is so good and creative at that. I look at the sky and think about how vast He is. And I watch Him at work in my life. God is good. It's plain to see. I have a life that is the proof. I can walk, talk, dance, act like a crazy woman and God loves me. That's a really cool thought.

I'm just rambling sorry. I guess I'll stop now.

Taste and See. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Romans 12 Challenge

One of my favorite Scriptures is probably Romans 12. It is something that reminds me of how far I fall from the glory of God. These are things that if we are Christians will be coming out in our lives. But it is such a good reminder that we will never achieve it so we must trust God, but it's also a good examination tool. Where am I falling? I encourage you to read this and for each individual thing it tells you to do think of a way that you don't do it and come up with ideas to help you change. Change is the ultimate goal.

Romans 12;9-21

Let love be without hypocrisy.
Abhor what is evil.
Cling to what is good.
Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;
not lagging in diligence,
fervent in spirit,
serving the Lord;
rejoicing in hope,
patient in tribulation,
continuing steadfastly in prayer;
distributing to the needs of the saints,
given to hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Rejoice with those who rejoice,
and weep with those who weep.
Be of the same mind toward one another.
Do not set your mind on high things,
associate with the humble.
Do not be wise in your own opinion.
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”[a] says the Lord. 20 Therefore

“ If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”[b]

21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

This is a challenging passage. I want to be like the Lord. Love like He loved and care for people like He cared for people. I think if we examine ourselves by this list, day by day...wow. The ways we could change.

What would help us even more would be for our friends and family to show us where we are falling in these areas. So, if you guys ever notice me lacking in an area, you have permission to come to me and show me. And I hope that I can do that to ya'll too? :)

What a blessing to be in the family of God.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Pre and Extra - Marital Sex

Oh my. I have been really challenged. Okay warning: If you are embarrassed by hearing someone talk about sex and purity or anything like that...then don't read this post.

I was on my NaNoWriMo forum and engaged in a conversation about pre-marital and extra-marital sex. I was very disturbed that only a very few actually believed in saving your virginity for marriage and fewer than that saw the value of marriage. I was challenged because I realized that I didn't have an established answer on why I was going to wait to have sex. It disturbed me that I hadn't put the thought into it before. i know why, but I wasn't prepared in the slightest to share why with someone else who disagreed in every way. So anyways, after posting back and foward and few times, watching the other people post and then being convicted of the fact that I wasn't really speaking up about the lord...I developed a portion of my reasons. WHY, I'm waiting. And WHY marriage is important.

I was at first just saying, "I believe in abstinence and marriage" but not really backing it up.

I encourage you all to FIND your answers to these questions. We will face this problem for the rest of our lives. In college, with our children, our friends and family, and even within the body of Christ.

Be ready with an answer.

To top off my conviction, I just memorized this verse about two weeks ago. "but sanctify the Lord God in your heart and ALWAYS be READY to give an answer about the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear." 1 Peter 3:15

Thanks God. <_< So I am going to post my post about it here. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE feedback. What you all think about it, what you think I missed in my post and how you would answer these questions. Now here's some food for thought. These are the questions that were being brought up. Why not if you love them? Why marry? They never last anyways? Why do people stake others value on weather they have had sex or not? Many sexual partners is a good thing. It doesn't have side effects emotionally or physically. Everyone else is doing it. WHy should we wait? Love is love. If you back up sex with actions, what's the problem? HOW WOULD YOU ANSWER? Here's how I did. Tell me what you think. I think there are a few things maybe some of you guys aren't seeing. I'm not going to try to convince you, but just explain my beliefs in a little more detail.

First off, I believe in abstinence because of Jesus Christ in my life. I'm not a catholic, or an episcopalian, or a Mormon and anything. I am a Christian who believes in the Word of God. The Bible tells me to wait for marriage. And I will becasue God loved me enough to die for me - therefore I'm willing to believe and do anything He tells me to do, without questions. He knows best.

Why did God tell me not to have sex? Because He wanted to destroy my fun? NO! He talks about how people desire each other sexually and that it's a good thing. I TRULY HOPE that me and my husband will desire each other soo much and have a GREAT time in bed. That's a thrilling thing to strive after. :)

One thing I think we are missing is the value of marriage. Marriage isn't a useless ceremony. It's a promise. A covenant that we make with a man before our friends family and God. And yes, a lot of marriages don't make it. It's sad. It's not the way it was intended to be. But I think a big reason they don't make it is because people have a twisted definition of love. Love isn't just gushy sexual feelings and desires. Believe it or not, but when you start getting a double chin, and your butt droops no ones gonna really desire you anymore. If we just base love on how we FEEL about people. LOVE WON'T LAST! that's the truth. Or minds cannot handle a love forever, and neither can our bodies. Our own bodies go through hormone changes that could alter our loves for a while.

That to say, marriage is a commitment you make to be with someone forever. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health...till DEATH DO YOU PART.

"Wait!" you say, "You just told us our bodies couldn't really handle the same love forever." Yep, I did. And that is true IF it's based solely on our feelings. True love....is a choice. We have to decide to love each other. And that's the value of marriage that I think you all might be missing.

Let's put away the whole sex thing right now and just talk about loving people in general. Choosing to love someone in a marriage is putting aside your wants and desires to serve them. TRUE LOVE is thinking of the people around you and caring for their needs before you care for your own.

So, think of a relationship where people were constantly trying to do that. If both people were saying, "You first, than me." Than marriages wouldn't have the problems they do today. Cause every fight is selfishness in both parties.

I am choosing to wait for marriage to have sex because I am dreaming of my future. I am dreaming of the husband I will be with one day. I am considering his feeling above mine. The easy way out would be to have sex for the whoo of it, right? Yes. But I am thinking about the day when my husband and I can learn together how to have sex. I don't have to be a pro to keep him. That's not what he will love about me. I am dreaming of a time when I can be in my husbands arms and not have to remember past relationships and partners.

Abstinence dreams of it's future.

I dream of my future. I dream of true love. I dream of a love unmarred by past experiences.

Second (wow, that was a long first), extra or premarital sex is NOT SAFE. There ARE facts and it is dangerous. Here, I have a brocheur on my dresser.

*runs to get it*

Next to the common cold and flue STDs are the most common disease in America. Wanna know why? Because the guys you just slept with has slept with two other people, who have both slept with two other people who have slept with two other people....ect.

1 in 5 Americans are in infected with an STD.

41,000 people get infected in the US every day. 2/3s of them being in people under the age of 25. O.O

80% of the people infected don't show initial symptoms.

Beware because your partner may lie about the fact that they were involved sexually in the past, they may not know they have an STD (80% don't), teens are more physically susceptible, CONDOMS DON'T PROTECT like you think they do. They help sometimes with pregnancies, but do not stop from transmitting STDs.

Beware, because you can be legally liable for giving someone a STD,

Quote by C. Everett Koop, Former US Surgeon General "when you have sex with someone, you are having sex with everyone they have had sex with for the last ten years, and everyone they and their partners have had sex with for the last ten years. "

Lastly (finally), I want to clear up this whole "purity" thing. Your value is not staked on your virginity. It's not. Period. we all make mistakes. We all do things we shouldn't do, but it doesn't mean that you aren't worth anything anymore. We all have sexual purity, but real purity is a process. It's a journey in our lives. It's about becoming Christlike in our walk and talk. So physically speaking, purity is something you can give away with your virginity, but it doesn't mean it cannot be achieved again.

See, this is the awesome part. If we have had sex (or worse, it was taken from us) God still sees us as someone desperately in need of Him and LOVES US (now, this is the true perfect love). I am in need of a Savior but I haven't had sex or oral sex. I need a Savior because I'm a sinner. I sin all the time. To be honest, I struggle with lust, a lot. I've lied, cheated and hated others. See? I'm not "pure". Physically? Yes. Spiritually? No.

The only REALLY REAL purity is the purity found in Jesus Christ's person. And it is available to each of us. It is available to me, and the only reason I make it from day to day is knowing that Christ is going to help me achieve that purity in the long run if I depend on Him.

My value is found in the God. My value is found in who I am.

I might sound like a loon, but I will choose abstinence because I dream of my future, because it's safe and because i know it pleases my father, God.

I hope that made a little since to you guys. :)

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

More of what Christ did for me and videos...

God got a hold of my heart. He captured me in his love.

And my personal testimony is about Him. Nothing about me. He got me and has been changing my life little by little since the time. He constantly is showing me how to trust in Him, and teaching me how to be satisfied with just Him.

I think this thing called ,"The Great Exchange" sums up what He does for me on a daily basis. I'm not sure who wrote this. i apologize.

The Great Exchange

My weariness for His strength.
Mt weakness for His power.
My darkness for His Light
My problems for His solutions.
My burdens for his freedoms.
My frustrations for His peace.
My turmoil for His freedom
My hopes for His promises.
My afflictions for His balm of comfort.
My questions for His answers.
My confusion for His knowledge.
My doubt for His assurance.
My nothingness for His awesomeness.
The temporal for the eternal, and
The impossible for the possible!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Cast Your Care On The Lord

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. But you, O God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption; … But as for me, I trust in you." Psalm 55:22 -23

I'll admit, I've been a tad depressed today and I didn't cast my care on the Lord. I was upset but didn't go to Him in prayer like I should have. But thankfully God knew that and sent people to me to remind me to keep focusing on Him - that He knows what He's doing.

I'm silly, thinking I have everything under control.

Word of wisdom that I don't remember myself. "Every time you have the slightest burden - go to God in prayer about it." Seriously,God doesn't tire of hearing your voice. He longs to be by you and help you. So bring you cares to Him.

i love the lyrics from a song we sang at VBS.

Something like: " God speaks, God sees, God loves, God leads, God hears, God cares about me. Yeaaaah, so I will cast my care on the Lord because He cares for me. I will trust in God no matter what cause I know He will never stop - caring for me. He's always caring for me.

Btw, day one of NANOWRIMO is done. And I wrote more than the daily quota. 2,884 words. YEAH! Pray that I'll keep the enthusiasm and persevere.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I'm sorry....

I have just re-entered the blogging world.

I love blogging.

But - to be fair - I have to tell you guys that I won't be posting as often. Nope. I am starting NaNo on Monday! *screams with excitement* I'll do my best to post every other day. At least a verse or something. Have no fear. I have not died. :)

Thanks for being amazing.

Dear Christian....

I have been pondering this verse a lot lately. It really has started to convict me.

1 Peter 3: 15 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and always been ready to give an answer to anyone who asks of the hope within you, with meekness and fear."

This is a command from scripture! Why do you treat it like an option and not prepare yourself? I've done it too. But recently I have been trying to find answers to common questions about the Lord so when I do come across them, I'll be ready.

Here are so good one's to start with.

Why are you so different?

If God is loving, why does He allow me to suffer?

How are you even sure God is real?

How do I be saved?

Why do you know the Bible is true?

I'm looking into some of the answers to these questions. So as I (hopefully) find answers, I'll post them and all that jazz. I would love feedback!

Peace, love and tacos!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Another great example video.....

Whoops! I posted the wrong video at first!

This is a great video that shows what Jesus did for me. (See post from October 25th)

I sin (though not necessarily the same sins as the girl in the video) and God came and took the punishment for me so I can have peace with Him again. I can be at peace with God because He can look on me ans see someone sinless because of His Son's payment.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

My first ever script!

                 A Different Kind of Blind                                                  Written by Ashley Jones and taken from John 9

Man: [ecstatic] Can you believe it? I can actually see! I can’t believe things look the way they look! The colors, the people…the…That man! He healed me. I have to find him…”
Pharisee: Okay, okay…I know you’re excited but give the glory to our God in Heaven. That man…He’s a mere sinner.
Man: I don’t know who He is. But there is one thing I can tell you. [last sentence hang]
Pharisee: Yesss?
Man: I was blind, but now I see.
Pharisee. [rubbing temples] Yes! I know…we’ve established that 29,000 times.
Man: Sheesh! Give me some slack. You’d be excited too, Mr. Anti-Emotional.
Pharisee: Now for the last time, tell me what happened. How did He get you to see?
Man: Well, He was passing by me. I was sitting by that road on the side vineyard at I-40. Ya know where I’m talking about?
Pharisee: [nods]
Man: Well it was a lovely morning. I was just minding my own business, begging. The normal. I could feel the sun shining on my skin. It was so warm. If I could’a picked a day to receive my sight – I would have picked a day like this, with all the birds chirping and people running around the vineyard….
Pharisee: [annoyed] Please, I have a meeting to attend. [pretends to look at watch] Oh, now! Spare me the details.
Man: Oh right. Okay, well basically what happened…to cut a long story short. Jesus passed by me and I heard Him talking to His disciples about me, which I thought wasn’t very nice – I mean, I was blind and all but not deaf. But after I listened to what they were saying I didn’t mind as much. His disciples asked, “Who sinned? This man or his parents that he should be born blind?” Then Jesus said, “Neither. It is so the work of Christ can be shown in His life.”
Pharisee: Is that so? Work of Christ? [shakes head in disgust]
Man: I remember the exact words Jesus said before He speaking to me. He said, “While I am in the World – I am the light of the World.”
Pharisee: He said that huh? Wonder what He meant by that. [calling over shoulder] Bill, take a note of it. Then what?
Man: Then He spit on the ground, mixed the dirt with His spit and said, “Go wash in the pool of Siloam.”
[Man stops]
Pharisee: Is that all?
Man: Yes. I made my way to the pool of Siloam and I see.
Pharisee: Ridiculous heretic! He calls himself the Light of the World!
Man: I don’t see why you’re so upset He gave me my sight! What is there to find fault in?
Pharisee: This ‘Jesus’ has been calling God His Father. He blasphemes. [thinking] What do you think about the man?
Man: I think He is a prophet at least. I think He could be the Mess-
Pharisee: That’s quite enough! Now, tell me one more time what happened.
Man: [motioning] He came. Spit. Put mud on eyes. Told me “Go.” I wash. I see.
Pharisee: I need details!
Man: You told me to cut the details…
Pharisee: Well, un-cut them!
Man: Look I already told you and you did not listen. Wait, do you want to be His disciple too?
Pharisee: His disciple? Oh—I will avoid being seen with that man at all cost. He is a sinner, deserving death! [pointing at blind man] You’re His disciple! I am a disciple of Moses.
Man: Moses? But He-
Pharisee: God spoke directly to Moses. But this man? This carpenter? This magic man? This lowly being with no place to rest His head? Is not from Heaven.
Man: Now that is remarkable!
Pharisee: What?
Man: You are confused about where He came from but He opened my eyes! I see! No one…NO ONE has ever heard of a man’s blind-from-birth eyes being opened. And yet, He’s not of Heaven?
Pharisee: You sinner! You were born in sin and you are trying to teach me? A Pharisee? My position is one of superior knowledge. You have no right!
Man: But why can’t you see?
Pharisee: See? Why can’t I see? Are you suggesting that I’m blind too? You’re one to ask! He breaks the law…healing on the Sabbath, preparing food on the Sabbath and worst of all – eating with sinners. This man is not who you think He is.
Man: Then explain the miracles.
Pharisee: He’s of the devil.
Man: But He casts out demons. What demon would cast out another demon?
Pharisee: You have no right to be challenging me in this way. You’re out of line!
[Pharisee throws Him out]
Man: [struggling to get out] You’re the blind one!
[Man straightens up]
Lord, I believe. Though the rest off the world may not understand, I do. You’ve opened my eyes. I know that you are the promised Messiah. It’s plain as day. [looking up and holding out arms] Plain as the sun. Well, it wouldn’t have been unless you showed me. I once was lost, but now I’m found. I was blind…but now I see.  

Monday, October 25, 2010

What I believe and videos....Rock on!

I randomly decided that I am going to post a few posts about what my Christian life is all about. I've been reading about how I need to always be ready to give a defense for the faith that I have in Jesus Christ. So I am going to be posting my testimony, what Christ actually did for us, what He can do for you and what I am trying to do for Him. I am going to be adding videos too. If you're like me....nothing explains how you feel more than a song (bonus points if it's a you tube official music video :p).

This will be good practice for me. i always post about stuff He is doing in my life and stuff but I forget about the most important thing He HAS ALREADY done. The one thing that people will remember till the end of the earth when Christ comes back to reign.

Here goes nothin. I guess I'll start with what Christ did for me and you. That's the best place to place in the beginning...well, in the middle too, and actually...why don't we end there as well? Haha. I guess it all centers around the cross.

Now for a few gooooood songs! That explain it pretty well.

I think these songs do a good job explaining what Christ did.

Here's the story...paraphrased. God, the God of the universe created Man and the world and the stars and the animals. But his greatest creation of all was the first man, Adam, because He made Adam in His image. He also made Adam a partner, Eve. Everything that God made was perfect. There weren't any thorns on the earth, no blood was shed, the carnivorous animals that we know now ate plants. Everything was PERFECT. No death, no pain, no tears.

Adam and Eve lived in a garden where they walked and talked and shared a speial relationship with God. Now, there was only one thing that God told them not to do and that was to eat the fruit from one tree in the garden, The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil or they would surely die. That was the only rule! But one day, Adam and Eve were walking through the garden and a serpent was in the Tree of Knowledge and he enticed Eve. He made her question God. He said, "You don't really think that eating this fruit will make you die? Do you? If you eat this fruit it will make you like God - All knowing. That's why He doesn't want you to eat it. He doesn't want you to be like Him."

Eve believed and she ate of the tree.

The first sin had been committed. Nothing would be the same. From then on, the race of man is fallen and sinful. We will never be in perfect communion with God again. If you were born, which since you are reading this post it's safe to say that you are, then are born into a sinful nature.

Sinful nature? Why does that matter? Who cares? Yeah, we sin now and then, but it isn't a big deal right? Because the human race fell, in order to be able to spend eternity in heaven with God and have that communion with Him again a perfect sacrifice had to be made OR humans would have to be perfect - and that just isn't possible. If you have ever told a lie, or lusted, or said or even THOUGHT something unkind....you're a sinner. So that's all of us. We cannot be perfect, so someone had to come and be that perfect sacrifice for us if we were to ever have hope again.

The same God who created the universe, years later, left His perfect home in heaven and became a helpless baby in a virgin's womb. He grew up sinless. SINLESS people! He was the only person to ever be sinless since the fall of Adam and Eve. Can you imagine having a perfect son? One that didn't have temper tantrums or be smart every once in a while?

This boy, named Jesus, teaching the 'teachers' of the land about His Father in heaven. Everyone was astonished, but He knew what His heavenly Father had planned for Him.

At the age of thirty years old Jesus began His ministry. He performed many miracles, healing, baptizing, performing miracles, and teaching the people of Israel about the way to heaven, the Father in Heaven and His will.

The people were taken with His words and many many became His disciples. But the Pharisees of the land were upset. They had heard the old prophesies about man who would be the "Messiah" the "Coming King" and the "Son of God" but they scoffed at Jesus because He came as a lowly servant. The Pharisees were outraged that He called Himself the Son of God because they expected the Son of God to be a rich and mighty King not a servant.

Claiming to be the "Son of God" was a crime deserving of death in those days. So they beat Jesus and hung Him on a cross. On the cross Jesus suffered emotional pain as well as physical. Because God looked upon Jesus and saw our sin. By going to the cross, Jesus took our sins upon Himself. So when God looks at me? He sees a sinless girl because my sin was KILLED that day on the cross with Jesus Christ!

Why does this matter?

Jesus was the only sinless man. And innocent blood was needed to pay for us. The reason Jesus went to the cross was because it was the only way we could be saved and reconciled with God!!!!

ROMANS 5: 12-15 But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! 16Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. 17For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.

By one person, sin entered the world, but by one man (GOD) there is now an escape!

This is the best part of the story. Three days after they killed Jesus, he rose again! They buried him in a tomb but He arose!!! HE was the only person who could conquer death! DEATH HAS BEEN CONQUERED! The powers of Satan and the power of evil was conquered! And we can experience that victory in Christ.

If we put our faith in Christ - if we believe that He is Lord and give our lives to Him we can experience that victory. That victory over sin - knowing that it was crucified with Jesus. That victory over death - knowing that because Jesus defeated death, we can spend eternity with Him in heaven.

Isn't that beautiful?

Here is another way to explain it! Ever seen Narnia? My favorite character was Edmund because I feel like I can identify with Edmund. Edmund was the selfish little brat no one liked because he was constantly thinking of himself! He betrayed his brothers and sisters and friends so many times.

He meets the white witch and is taken with her and her beauty. He willingly does anything she asks of him. But soon, the witch's ugliness starts to show and he is afraid because there is nothing he can do.

Soon, Aslan's (the good King, also the lion in the video) comes to save Edmund. They bring him to Aslan. Aslan tells Edmund that He is guilty of betrayal. The worst thing of all. The White Witch (Aslan's worst enemy) comes back to claim Edmund, because according to the black magic of the land all the traitors belong to her and must be put to death on the stone table.

Naturally, Edmund was terrified. He WAS a traitor and there was nothing he could do to save himself.

But, with out telling Edmund, Aslan offers Himself as a replacement for Edmund. the White Witch is overjoyed! She has wanted to see Aslan dead for years. So she gives grace to Edmund and takes Aslan to the stone table to be killed.

But the story ends when Aslan rises from the dead! Because the black magic said that any person who is innocent that is killed on the stone table shall rise again!

That's what Christ did for us, you know. I was a traitor. I had done wrong and thought about only myself, but Jesus took my sins and died with them.

If you are reading this and are not sure if God has taken your sins....be cheered because He can and He will. Believe. This information can change your life.

At the end of the video is my favorite part. You see Edmund and all his siblings recieving crowns and sitting on thrones.

That what is promised those who give their life to Christ. Eternal life reigning with Christ.

And that's just the beginning of the benefits. I'll get into the others in the coming posts.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

My 24 Commandments of NaNoWriMo

Yep, it is what it looks like. My own personalized 23 Commandments strictly about NaNo (see previous post). It wasn't until I wrote these did I realize the magnitude of my commitment. Bring....it.....on!  

 1: Thou shalt leave sanity behind. Embraceth the insanity on thy insane mission.
2: Thou shalt shout on the streets and by-ways what thee are doing.
3: Thou shalt make a covenant with thy mother to finish the novel or wash the dishes every night for a fort-night.
4: Thou shalt reward thyself upon finishing with a new CD.
5: Thou shalt not, absolutely NOT, let thyself think that anything is more important than thy novel.
6: Thou shalt think often of thy finished product.
7: Thou shalt act out the scenes as thou writeth them.
8: Thou shalt never read over what thou hast written.
9: Thou shalt never listen to Eddie.
10: Thou shalt always drink tea.
11. Thou shalt not procrastinate.
12. Thou shalt writeth the daily word count or thee will be smote with fire.
13. Thou shalt keep up with thy devotions and thy homework.
14. Thou shalt write whileist babysitting.
15. Thou shalt write on Friday night until thy glow stick dims.
16. Thou shalt day-dream about thy novel when thee should be doing other things.
17. Thou shalt encourage plot bunnies.
18. Thou shalt be random in all thee writeth.
19. Thou shalt not get on the forum until thy daily word quota is achieved.
20. Thou shalt kill a character with thee traveling shovel of death in some way.
21. Thou shalt write while eating.
22. Thou shalt not forgeteth to exercise or thou willst gain pounds.
23. Thou shalt dream up conflicts. 
24. Thou shalt have fun!

My Insane Endeavor...

First off, thanks for the Post Ryan! That was a fun-sized awesome reminder. We do serve an awesome God. I am so undeserving of Him!

Now, for the real reason I'm posting. For those of you who know me, you know that I'm am stupidly random (an unfortunate family gene - seriously) and do weird things at odd times. If you didn't know that about me....well, welcome to the story of my life.

Okay, I'm exaggerating. I AM random but the real thing is I looove challenges and will take one in a heartbeat.

So, I normally try to post only spiritual related things on this blog but I was told to tell you guys about this, so I have to. It's part of the challenge.

I am doing what many refer to as NaNoWriMo. It's called the National Novel Writing Month. In a nut shell NaNoWriMo is about trying to write a 50,000 word novel in one month. And you can't write any of it until November 1st. Then come the 30 days and night of literary abandon. You write while you eat, sleep, and take a shower. The daily word quota to complete the novel is 1,667 words. Doesn't seem like a lot, but if you miss a few days....*low whistle* You live and breathe your story for one month. about 160,000 people did it last year but only 50,000 succeeded. I'm going to try. I have a complete outline of what I want to happen in my story (see the page on this blog called, "A Piece of My Insanity". It's the first synopsis I'll be doing.). Now, I await the dawn of November 1st.

I know, it's insane. But I'm insane, so it works out.

Plus, meh love to write! *creepy grin*

Why I had to tell you guys is because public pressure helps. It will help me knowing that all my readers know about this endeavor and that they are expecting me to finish. And if I don't....well, who likes public humiliation?

If I don't finish, you each have permission to torment me till I die. In fact, I want you to. That will be my punishment from y'all. Feel free to check on me to see how I'm doing. The more pressure the better. 8)

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


God is pleased with those who strive to have a relationship with Him and want to live by His word. Isn't that such a wonderful thing to know? That God loves us and is pleased with us even though we have sinned and still fail Him? Wow. What an amazing God!

Because He Loves Me

Prince Charming loves us. It's a dream come true. He is everything we've ever wanted and he constantly pushes and inspires us to be better than we are.

This is true. When we know that someone loves us...a lot. It brings the best out of us. It makes us want to be more than we are.

I know that I lack that steam when it comes to Christ's love for me and my desire to become more like Him. His great inspiring love SHOULD inspire me to become more than I am. And it does, but not liek it should.

This is an area for examining ourselves. How do we react to being 'our best' for other people compared to how we are inspired by God 's love for us?

This is short...but they are jsut my thoughts all compiled into a short little, fun-sized post.


Saturday, October 16, 2010

This is Love.

A woman. Is flawlessly faithful with her husband. Perfect. Is everything a man could ask for, works hard, beautiful, submits to him and loves him unconditionally. But tragically, she finds out that her husband has been unfaithful. She is heart-broken. Naturally.

Jesus. Is flawlessly faithful with His bride. He is everything she could ask for. He died for her. He provides for her in a way no man ever could. A constant companion, shelter, protection and lover. Tragically, his bride is constantly unfaithful and disregards the precious gift that He is. She spits on His gift, and doesn't obey His requests. He asks so little. He gave His life and she can't even serve Him. He is heart-broken. Naturally?

Why do I have this mental picture that God doesn't really get hurt when we reject Him?

I'm everything no one would ask for. Not even a human. But God, my God, my Savior, the Lord, the King - serves, loves, protects, clothes, feeds, spiritually nourishes, comforts, helps, teaches, and enjoys being with me.

I have a fantasy-like happiness waiting in the relationship with my God - one many only can dream about. I have someone to run to. I have someone to bear my burdens with me. I have someone to talk to when I'm alone. I have someone who never tires of hearing my voice. I have someone will provide for all my needs according to His riches in glory. I have someone to sing to in the night. I have someone to be close to. I have someone to share my thoughts with - the silly and serious ones. I have someone who will always understand no matter what my situation is. I have someone who embraces me with the sunshine. I have some who kisses me with the wind. I have someone who sings back to me with cricket symphonies. I have someone who has sent me infinite love letters. I have someone who never gets impatient. I have someone who loves me - ME - despite the fact that I - I - put Him on the cross. I have someone who payed for my sin, so when He looks at me He sees Himself. I have someone who lifts my chin when I'm downcast. I have someone to celebrate with when I am happy. I have someone to share my deepest thoughts and desires with. I have someone who calms my temper and whispers "shhhhhh" softly in my ear. I have someone who -even- when I fail miserably will still hold open His arms for me to jump back in.

What am I doing with my life? Why am I holding back? Why am I not giving Him my all? What is so important that I keep hanging on to? Why am I still looking for love?


God forgive me. I am a fool.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Wow. How many of us are more horrified that other people know our sins than God? Isn't it God that we should be afraid of?

Mat 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

I'm posting the lyrics to the Tenth Avenue North Song "Healing Begins". The video was the lead singer of Tenth Avenue...btw.

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

What are you trying to hide form other people. Confess to others and God. I know it's hard. But I've been encouraged to do this, and it is very freeing. Try it!

What In the World Do You Want?

I was blessed with a amazing opportunity to go to a women's conference in Indianapolis. You guys know about Revive our Hearts with Nancy Leigh Demoss? Yeah...it was good.

Well, the first sermon was actually by a guy, Crawford Loritts. I'm going to tell you about it. :) It's been a long time since I heard this...and I can't form the sermon in my head from the notes. I'll just give you the bullet points and you can think on them yourself. they are pretty convicting anyways. And I'm adding some of my words too. Just thought I should let you know so I'm not putting words in his mouth.

1 John 2:15-17
15Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever.

How should we relate to the world? Verse 15 tells us don't love it. Don't love and desire the things in the world. Ultimately they cannot fulfill us. It is like a fire. Hot, attractive, tempting to touch but will burn you the moment you touch it.

How do we relate to the worlds system? See it for what it is. It is a corrupt world needing the love of Jesus Christ!

Worldliness is really 'self-obsession'. The world is worried about one person. "me, myself and I'. If we get involved in the things of the world we are just trying to self-satisfy, self-gratify or identify ourselves. When we love the world God is excluded from our heart, eyes and lusts. We begin to identify ourselves with the world. If we love things of the world we are letting the world define us. What we love will define us!

We must decide who and what defines us! Is it fashion, wealth, prestige, sexuality, possessions, or Christ?

I found this saying very convicting. I have always thought that I have things in my life that I put before God now and then but nothing I would call a serious 'idol'. Well, I did think that until I read this statement that put things in a new light.

"Anything that causes us to lose the enjoyment of the Father's love or the desire to do the Father will is worldly." 

Now ask yourself, "What defines me?" I was soooo challenged by this? What does define me? Am I living a Christian life worth exploiting? Am I putting my value in how I measure on the worlds yard-stick?

I found two things that I know pull me away from God and are worldly.Think about it. What are they for you? What is defining you, whether in your private or public life? Hypocrisy? Anger? Bitterness? Lust? The Media? Good novels? School-work (a biggy for us students I know)?

Pray and ask God to reveal those things in your life and to help you conquer them. He will. He is helping me every day. What a mighty God we serve.

The Long Forgotten Ex-Poster Arises From The Ashes...Rawr!

Wow. I haven't posted in forever. I'm turning out to be pretty lousy at this. I'm so sorry. I'm going to try to do better. I have sooooo mannnny things to tell you guys. I don't think I'll ever catch up!

*applause* Thank you Ryan for picking up my slack and posting something. :D

I really have been incredibly busy!

But anyways. I guess I'll go post something. Stay tuned....I will be back!