Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Very likely my anger, frustration and bondage are all a result of my own shortcomings.

I'm the one who forgot to pray, didn't follow the Lord, and haven't trusted Him. Yeah, there are things on the outside of me that are rubbing me the wrong way and are overwhelming me, but I'm the one who has allowed myself to drift away from God. I'm the one who left.

These situations and problems I feel like I can't do anything about are probably even mroe overwhelming than usual because I've forgotten to confide and find help in my strong friend and father. Jesus.

I guess its all my fault then. . .


Kaylin said...

oh ashley, I would really like to talk to you in person. it's been so long anyway. It's so hard to type what I'm thinking back to you. but i'll try.

First off, let me say that you are not alone. God created us as emotional beings. He made us so that we can feel..we laugh at stupid jokes, cry at tear-jerking movies, be overcome with joy, empatize with those who are hurting, and everything in between. Anger, frustration, and all the other emotions you mentioned are part of who we are as human beings. even Jesus was emotional. he wept at lazarus' grave, he was angry when the temple was not being used for God, and so much more. emotions help us relate to one another. life would be very boring without them.

And I can promise you that he is hurting with you tonight. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that he is there, ready to be confided in. But he is not condemning you for forgetting he was there. He is patient.

So you may have allowed yourself to drift away from God, forgotten him, and tried to do it all on you own. but the only one beating you up about it is yourself. Not Jesus. If anything, your efforts to handle things on your own has solidified your knowledge of your need for Christ and deepened your desire for Him. "Draw near to Christ and he will draw near to you" james 4:8a.

i hope that made a little sense...

Meggie said...

I'll be praying for you, sis. Keep on pushing forward. :) God is always there, and He has got His big dadda arms around you right now.


Becca said...

Sweetie, it's not all your fault...the situation you have found yourself in is a very challenging one and it is gonna be hard. You can't help that the situation is thrust upon you....BUT! You CAN help how you act about it. And only the Lord can help you to act right. That's where your responsibility comes in. You need to take responsibility for YOUR actions, and talk to God about it. And as far as the other stuff....it's out of your control. Only God can carry such a burden.

Now, all of us are fallen, unfaithful, and (as Kaylin said) emotional beings. I can testify to this because I am SO wretched. That's where being a Christian is oober challenging (yet rewarding) because we are SO sinful but we need to work hard to refuse ourselves and say yes to God. It's hard because we are selfish and I think the times that we feel spiritually dry is because we aren't soaking up the blessings Christ is wanting to bestow upon us.

Just pray sis and ask God for strength. It can only come from Him. You can find true joy in Christ, baby girl. I LOVE YOU and I'm shutting up now :)

-your big sis