Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Just A Shout Out

Right now it's midnight. I'm waiting to see if my SAT scores will come out on the stroke of midnight. Ya know, my SAT has really been a source of stress for me. I've been all OCD about getting amazing grades so I can get into my ideal college choices. I've taken the SAT three times and the ACT once. Let's just say that every time I take them, I get pretty uptight. For some reason, I have felt like only a perfect-incredibly-above-average score is acceptable. But, it's not. No, there are lots of other scores completely acceptable. Everything I do, I want to be perfect at. But ya know what? I made a discovery; if I'm good at everything, how can I be great at anything? I'm smart. I study hard. But, I would never venture in calling myself an academically inclined student. Yes, I know how to study and get good grades, but that is a lot different than natural smarts and testing skills. I don't have those things.

This fact used to totally eat me to pieces. I was not satisfied with my SAT grades. My highest grades thus far is a 1680 (SAT) and a 23 (ACT).

So, I took it over and over, determined to be noticed for my academic achievements. Well, I learned something, I'm never going to be recognized because of my academic achievements, cause I haven't done that much.

Before, this fact killed me. But now, I don't really care that much. Don't get me wrong; I believe in doing your best in everything, but I think I've let good grades and recognition become and idol in my life. I don't have to be perfect. No one (especially not God, who really is the only one who matters) is going to judge or hate me because I didn't get a 2400 on my SAT. No one. Just myself.

And it doesn't matter what grade I get and what college I go to - as long as I'm serving the Lord, that is really all that matters. The rest will just burn with the earth one day.

I could let the thought that everything is going to burn depress me, but it doesn't. Somehow, I don't find that thought depressing at all! In fact, it's inspirational! The things I don't do for Christ will be gone with the wind one day, but the things I do do unto His name and His glory will store up treasure in Heaven. Therefore, I can't worry or fret or idolize anything, except my Savior.

It's late and I don't know if you all are picking up what I'm laying down, but I find this thought rather cool. It's freeing to realize that idolizing something is just a waste of time. Idolizing school, music, friends, or whatever is pointless.

So why do it?

I think getting a good grade would be pleasing to God, but now, I don't really care what I got. I did my best and the results are up to Him. I'm not going to worry,stress or fear. If my scores mean that I have to take remedial classes, then He will help me take them whole-heartedly.

Well, they haven't be released so I'm going to bed.

1 comment:

Meggie said...

Good on you, Ashley.
All for the glory of God, it is a freeing thought.