Saturday, January 1, 2011

Reflect and Expect

Happy New Year! Can you believe that it is 2011 already?

I look back on this past year. I am so happy. Wanna know why? Because I am not the same person I was a year ago. And that person wasn't the same as the person before that. God is constantly changing and working in my life. Yeah, sometimes I have better weeks than others but I am on my way to becoming more Christlike as I go on.

Time has flown by. Today, I registered for an ACT test and choose the colleges to send my scores to. I spent a while on the internet looking at scholarships I can apply for. I turn seventeen in two weeks. I'm graduating in 5 months! Where has time gone?

The future is intimidating. I can't decide if I'm excited or sad. I guess it's a little of both. Part of me feels crazy and ready for the adventures life brings, but the other part of me feels like a lost boy in Neverland - determined not to grow up. Every step brings me closer to an eternity with Christ. Although, the thought is frightening, I AM excited about that. And every trial is just another chance to reach up and hold on tighter to my Father's hand. Yes, I am scared, but excitement trumps.

Lots of great things have happened this year! I can't begin to explain the ways. Christ is near - that is certain.  I know that God has many different ways of teaching His children, but I want to share with y'all how He has taught me.

I have learned to expect big things from God.

Not little.

Big.

HUGE!

Why?

We serve a big, huge, strong and powerful God. The "earth is His footstool". He has taught me that it is okay to ask the impossible of Him. No, I've never seen something "supernatural" - for lack of a better word - before. He hasn't made me turn invisible or anything like that. But things that I THOUGHT were impossible and too much to ask He has done.

For example - I have had trouble with lust. I had a lust problem and I just couldn't get over it. I tried a lot of times to get rid of it, but it would never go away...it felt like it would just get worse. Well, I had to literally beg the Lord mulitple times to take it away. I thought it would never happen. It has. Granted, I do fall back into it now and again, but overall, God has taken that struggle away from me. He has showed me, "Ashley, you don't need a man to complete you. As for now, you ARE complete - in ME! I can satisfiy you. Look no further."

I expected my merciful God to come to my aid and He did. I expect God to rush to my side when temptations arise - and He will. I expect God to be there when I fall and wipe my tears away and to give me strength when I am weak. And He will.

Why do we fool ourselves into thinking that we have to figure stuff out by ourselves? Why do I? I act like God just coaches from the sidelines and I have to score all by myself. Noooo, quite the contrary.

Just today I was reminded to be in prayer about college. For some WEIRD reason I was under the impression that I had to figure every thing out by myself. That no one was going to show me so I just had to make a decision. I forgot. God is going to show me. How? Who knows! He has some seriuosly strange ways...but I remembered that I have to expect Him to show me and He will show me.

As I have grown in my relatinoship with Christ, He has taught me to expect more of Him. As I begin to understand God more for who He is and what His promises mean, I believe all the more that He is in control and that He will follow through.

I ask myself a few questions this New Year. In what areas am I not expecting God to take care of? What things do I feel like I have to take of? In what areas am I expecting defeat? What things do I need to surrender to Christ? What do I expect God to accomplish in the New Year? What do I expect to learn?

Expect big things from God and He will teach you to trust Him and expect more and more. And the good thing is - He doesn't disappoint. ;)

4 comments:

Katherine said...

Thanks for sharing, Ashley! I'll be praying for you.... :)

Kyle Cheng said...

Good luck with colleges. =)

Ashley said...

Thanks. I need luck...or should I say guidance and provision? :D Do you know where you're headed? R u a senior?

Kyle Cheng said...

Sort of and nope.

I know I'm supposed to do something with music (Charismatics prophesied that) and I'll probably get a major in journalism =)